Being social

[badger]

I was recently introduced to the Jungian concept of introversion/extroversion. The idea is that most people gain energy from being with others, but there are some people who need solitude to recharge. I'm one. Sounds like maybe you are, too. (This is independent of the common concepts of introversion or extroversion - someone can function well in social situations and even be a show-off, but still be drained by it emotionally.)

I was going to point this out as well. If you take the Briggs-Meyers test they ask if you need to "decompress" and be on your own after being with others - a classic sign of being introverted.

I'm INFJ and frequently need to be on my own to "recharge", and those who are extroverted sometimes have a hard time understanding my need to be alone.

[Crankin]

I have lots of "networks," connections, etc. and a few very close friends. I am seen as very social, but I enjoy my alone time, mostly with DH. I spent years being friends with work people outside of work and I made a decision to stop that a long time ago. I hardly have anything in common with my 2 close non-cycling friends now, either. Another one is now into riding (the one who bought the Ruby), so we ride sometimes and socialize with husbands. We socialize mostly with one couple, our cycling friends, but we do lots of other stuff with them besides riding... theatre, restaurants, vacations. I still stay in contact with one or two friends in AZ, and see them when I go there. I am in contact with and see one friend from my middle school/HS days here in Boston, despite many many moves. She lives about 20 miles from me. In 2 weeks, I am going to my 40th reunion from the high school I didn't graduate from, but with all of the kids I grew up with. Moving ripped away a lot of those connections and I like having them. I don't socialize with the people, but as I get older, it's nice.
I don't socialize with my riding group, either. Most of the people have been friends for years and I always feel on the outside, although they are perfectly pleasant. I stopped volunteering at the synagogue because of riding, too. I have absolutely nothing in common with most of the people and frankly, as they age, they are looking like a mighty unhealthy bunch. I go to one or two social events there a year and give my $. Now I have my friends from grad school, too. Those connections will continue, but I am not sure how or how long.We are talking about a peer supervision group.
I think the research means you have to feel some connection to something; a religious group, family, hobby, volunteer group. There's a lot of people who just go home and watch TV after working all day.

[badger]

interesting, I just took the test again and today I'm ISFJ. I've been INFP as well, but one thing remains steadfast is my "very expressed introversion".

[indysteel]

interesting, I just took the test again and today I'm ISFJ. I've been INFP as well, but one thing remains steadfast is my "very expressed introversion".

Today, I'm an INFJ, but my I (18%) and my F (12%) are not strong preferences. In the past, I've tested as an INTJ. So, I'm either a "counselor" or a "mastermind."

[Owlie]

I have a few close friends, and a larger network of acquaintances. I need alone time to recharge from social interactions with people I don't know well, but at the same time, I need a couple people I'm close to around.

[westtexas]

Not sure where I sit on the scale at the moment, but I know in the past I've always tested in the "E" category on Meyers-Briggs. However, I feel like a lot of y'all - I have a few close friends but spend the majority of my time alone (with my cat). My family is very very close to me, especially my mother. My few close friends are also great and I enjoy spending time with them - when I am feeling up to it. Most of the time for me the reason I don't participate heavily in group activities is that my peers are not into doing the same things I want to do. THey all want to drink and get hammered and I'm tired of always being the DD (I do drink, BTW, I just can't drink like that). They want to sit around and gossip and I'd rather go outside and hike. They are also all married (or might as well consider themselves to be) and older than me by a few years and the biggest thing on their minds right now is husbands and babies (obviously I am close to neither at this point in my life).

But, on the other hand, I enjoy striking up conversations with complete strangers while waiting in lines or while out doing my hobbies. I can make friends with just about anyone. I enjoy social interaction - I just have to choose it carefully. Probably why all the tests say I'm extroverted!

Update: Took the test. Found out I'm an ESFJ. Apparently good for being the medical field, so I guess that's a good thing. The description definitely was me to a 't'.

[emily_in_nc]

I'm INFJ and frequently need to be on my own to "recharge", and those who are extroverted sometimes have a hard time understanding my need to be alone.

Another INFJ here! I am around and interacting with people at work all day so sometimes feel downright anti-social when I get home. I live in an apartment now and have some neighbors I love, but sometimes I really hope not to run into anyone when I take my dog out for a walk, for instance. Other times I'm just fine with it and happy to stop and chat. I'm much more sociable on the weekends since I haven't had my social energy drained at work.

We lived in a single-family homes for many years, and this was not something I ever had to worry about. Although I come across as very sociable, I think; living in multi-family housing has reinforced for me just how much of an introvert I really am. A friendly, smiling introvert who loves her alone time.

[ultraviolet]

I'm an introvert, with a fairly small social circle. In fact, I was just having a conversation with someone about how Facebook does or does not reflect how we implement interpersonal relationships in our day-to-day lives, and I mentioned that I looked at the number of "friends" I had on Facebook a couple of months ago and promptly dropped about 2/3 of them, because it was improbable to me that I had that many people I would call "friend".

I have no bitterness over the notion that people with extensive social networks may live longer than me. I'm fine with that. IN fact, it just gives me more motivation to live the life that I want and that makes me happy while I can. And if that life means more time reading a book on the couch, or riding around on the back of my bike by myself...I'm totally fine with that, because it's what keeps me happy. To be honest, I've never really thought I'd make it past about 52 anyway. No, I don't have a death wish, it's just a number that stuck in my head when I was pretty young. So, in my brain, anything past that is just bonus time.

As far as Meyers-Briggs goes, I'm an INTJ. If you read the description of an INTJ, it's definitely reflective of the core of my personality...and certainly in my professional life.

For anyone who is familiar with the Enneagram, I'm a 5. That's something that's also pretty descriptive me, but it goes a little deeper than the Meyers-Briggs, with more variation in personality and motivation drivers.

[OakLeaf]

If you take the Briggs-Meyers test they ask if you need to "decompress" and be on your own after being with others - a classic sign of being introverted.

Uh ... where's the privacy policy on that webpage??? Besides this one:

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Kiwi Stoker, I'm so sorry about your friend/relative and about the position you're in with her. Hope all works out for the best - although it's hard to know what is best in that kind of situation.

[ASammy1]

This is really interesting as it seems most of us fall into the NFJ category... I am ENFJ, but just barely on the E side of the spectrum. Hmmm, something to ponder...