Places we consider home & newcomers

[bmccasland]

Born and raised in the military, and still haven't settled down. I have trouble with the question about "hometown." Where are you from? That's usually the last place I lived.

I loved New Orleans, but then there's the politics, poor public schools, hurricanes, crime rate. But when they play "Do you know what it means, to miss New Orleans" on the radio - YES! The thick soft air, ferns on the ancient oaks, Spanish moss, music, where being called "Baby" isn't a bad thing.

And now I'm in the PNW, where I'm having trouble breaking into the click of the office groups, missing my friends. Not quite knowing how to fit in.

I keep looking for a reason to stay, somewhere.

[kaybee]

[QUOTE=bmccasland;565821]I loved New Orleans, but then there's the politics, poor public schools, hurricanes, crime rate. But when they play "Do you know what it means, to miss New Orleans" on the radio - YES! The thick soft air, ferns on the ancient oaks, Spanish moss, music, where being called "Baby" isn't a bad thing./QUOTE]

Amen to that! And crawfish boils in the spring, blue crabs in the summer, fresh shrimp delivered to your back door by the guy that caught them, the sound of a fiddle and an accordian, sugar cane harvesting, being called "Chere" by people you don't even know... I could go on and on. I know many, many people would disagree, but South Louisiana is a place unlike any other, and it's where my heart will always be!

KB

[GLC1968]

Born and raised in the military, and still haven't settled down. I have trouble with the question about "hometown." Where are you from? That's usually the last place I lived.

Me too, except that I wasn't military - just had a Dad (and a family) that went where the oportunity took us. I've never lived in one place longer than 3 years, even as an adult on my own. I'm a gypsy at heart.

I keep looking for a reason to stay, somewhere.

Again, me too...until we moved here. I LOVE it here. I was worried that I wouldn't, but I do. I can't explain it except that moving here felt like moving 'home' even though I'd never been here before. Oddest thing I've experienced in all my years of relocations.

[SheFly]

Me too, except that I wasn't military - just had a Dad (and a family) that went where the oportunity took us. I've never lived in one place longer than 3 years, even as an adult on my own. I'm a gypsy at heart.

Me too! Longest I ever lived in one place, until AFTER college, was 3 years. I have moved over 30 times, and went to 14 schools between kindergarten and the beginning of high school, including stints in BOTH Calgary and Edmonton. I've lived in our current house for 15 years Maybe it's time to move .

Home has different connotations for me, because of all of the relocation growing up. I was born in Mississauga, ON, and that's where I lived before moving to the US. It's not "home" though. When I talk about home, it's the tri-cities area (Kitchener-Waterloo, Cambridge) where I spent the most number of years growing up (although not in any one house...).

But MY home is where I've been living for the past 15 years. We have invested a lot of time, $$ and effort into making this our home. Home is where I am, where my DH and kitties are, and where I am happy and comfortable.

The funny thing is when my mom and dad ask when I am coming home to visit. They live in a town that I have NEVER lived in

I think "home" is complicated...

SheFly

[channlluv]

Here's how I knew I'd come to think of San Diego as home. True story:

I remember walking through the Orlando airport one time, going to our departing flight for San Diego, and I was feeling edgy, although I didn't really know why. The people around me seemed nice enough -- lots of families doing the Disney thing, t-shirts and stuffed Mickeys and all. All very normal, blonde-haired, blue-eyed people. Lots and lots of them. I thought maybe they were a family reunion or something. And they were getting on my flight. The more they chattered around me, the edgier I got, only I didn't recognize it at the time.

We get on the plane and take our seats, the blonde family gets on behind my daughter and me -- all of them, and I hear them talking about getting home to Houston, our layover. So they're Texans. Okay. And then behind them, in this sea of blondeness, a young Filipino woman gets on board. She's alone, and as soon as I see her face, I relax. One word flashes in my mind: Home.

She looked like home. All those white people who looked mostly like me were making me nervous with their chatter and just the vibe they put out, but this young Filipino woman calmed me down.

I should point out that I live in an area of San Diego called, sometimes derisively, Manilla Mesa. I love my neighborhood. It's a nice place to live. We've been in this house for over fifteen years and it's the longest I've ever lived anywhere.

Roxy

[Biciclista]

Here's how I knew I'd come to think of San Diego as home. True story:

I remember walking through the Orlando airport one time, going to our departing flight for San Diego, and I was feeling edgy, although I didn't really know why. The people around me seemed nice enough -- lots of families doing the Disney thing, t-shirts and stuffed Mickeys and all. All very normal, blonde-haired, blue-eyed people. Lots and lots of them. I thought maybe they were a family reunion or something. And they were getting on my flight. The more they chattered around me, the edgier I got, only I didn't recognize it at the time.

We get on the plane and take our seats, the blonde family gets on behind my daughter and me -- all of them, and I hear them talking about getting home to Houston, our layover. So they're Texans. Okay. And then behind them, in this sea of blondeness, a young Filipino woman gets on board. She's alone, and as soon as I see her face, I relax. One word flashes in my mind: Home.

She looked like home. All those white people who looked mostly like me were making me nervous with their chatter and just the vibe they put out, but this young Filipino woman calmed me down.

I should point out that I live in an area of San Diego called, sometimes derisively, Manilla Mesa. I love my neighborhood. It's a nice place to live. We've been in this house for over fifteen years and it's the longest I've ever lived anywhere.

Roxy

Roxy, I grew up in Newark, NJ and adjoining towns there (we moved a lot)
I left NJ when I was 18 and moved to Idaho, where I had horses, goats, chickens, got to run around in the mountains in an old VW, but never ever fit in to that vanilla population.

We moved to Seattle in hopes of getting great jobs and saving money, then we were going to move back to Idaho... It never happened. We put down roots in Seattle. Living in the multi-colored community is where I feel comfortable, just like you in Manilla Mesa.

Where I live used to be called Garlic Gulch, because it was populated by Italians. Sadly, they are all gone, but in their place we have an incredible amount of diversity and culture. on my own little 1 block dead end we have people from every corner of the globe. My good neighbors.

[shootingstar]

Interesting channelluv, how you felt on the plane.

I can't even believe I once considered living in the Arctic because I've been interviewed twice for jobs up there. Like some folks here, I personally know some people face to face who have worked for several years in the Canadian Arctic. Different world..that we don't hear enough about.

[indysteel]

Interesting topic, and one I've tried not to think about in a long time. I've lived in Indiana all my life, but outside of the eight years I spent in Bloomington for undergrad and law school, I have never felt at home here. I don't feel much affinity for Indianapolis. While the city has improved in some ways during my lifetime, it's still grossly lacking in some fundamental ways.
It's a city without much soul in my opinion.

Now I live in a small town south of the city. I was born here and moved away when I was two. I don't have any friends here, and I've quite divined how to get them. The town makes Indy look positively liberal, it's so conservative. I honestly don't want to live here, but there's no other workable compromise given our respetive jobs.

I didn't want to move back here after law school, but I took the job that was offered to me, and that was that. I'm not a big risk taker, so the thought of just moving some place new was too much for me at the time. Several jobs, two homes and a husband later, here I still am.

In four years' time, I may be forced to change jobs when my boss retires. That may be the kick in the pants we need to make a change.

My husband and I talk of moving, but he's no more of a risk taker than me, so we can't seem to get past our own inertia. I envy those of you who have found the guts just to pack up.

[Jolt]

Me too! Longest I ever lived in one place, until AFTER college, was 3 years. I have moved over 30 times, and went to 14 schools between kindergarten and the beginning of high school, including stints in BOTH Calgary and Edmonton. I've lived in our current house for 15 years Maybe it's time to move .

SheFly

YIKES to the number of schools you went to and the number of times you've moved! It's also interesting that of those of us who moved around growing up, some enjoy moving around and others (like me) want to avoid it if at all possible because of bad experiences. Maybe the ones who liked it are more social?

[lph]

The funny thing is when my mom and dad ask when I am coming home to visit. They live in a town that I have NEVER lived in

That is funny. I go visit my mother where I actually did live for over 10 years, several as an adult, but it's not "home", it's her place. Home to me is where I live, with my own family. But I know many adults who will call visiting their parents going "home", even if they lived there maybe ten years, and have since lived somewhere else for thirty years.

I've wondered if it has to do with local identity, if you come from a small place. But your story suggests it has something to do with family connection and identity instead.

[Crankin]

I always said, "I am going to see my parents." They moved to San Diego in 1979. I have never lived there, though, but have spent a lot of time there, especially as a young mom, when I lived in AZ. So, I feel a connection to San Diego, but it's not home. I also feel like my home has always been where I am living. I've lived in a lot of houses/apts., too, in addition to the 3 states I've lived in.
We moved when our kids were young enough that it wasn't overly traumatic for them. The youngest was entering public school. The other one was going into second grade, had a little bit of a hard time, but nothing like I had when I moved in 10th grade... really, that was just about the worst thing that has happened to me, in terms of how much it screwed me up. We made another move to another close by town when my kids were 11 and 13. They were well prepared and already had acquaintances/friends in the new town from religious school. And all of our friends were in the new place, too. But, I still remember my oldest son saying he thought he was going to throw up the first day I drove him to his new school! They did very well, though.

[Karma007]

I never lived anywhere for very long. I was torn between wanting stability, and enjoying a slightly nomadic existence. Now my husband and I just bought the house we plan to retire in, and admittedly, it's a little unnerving. I can't imagine ever wanting to leave, but at the same time.....

[GLC1968]

Me too! Longest I ever lived in one place, until AFTER college, was 3 years. I have moved over 30 times, and went to 14 schools between kindergarten and the beginning of high school, including stints in BOTH Calgary and Edmonton. I've lived in our current house for 15 years Maybe it's time to move .

12 schools by the time I graduated from HS for me and it only got worse when I graduated from college and was on my own. I've moved more times than I can count...truly. When I applied for security clearance at my first engineering job, they needed the last 10 years worth of addresses. I swear that was a more complicated research project than my entire master's thesis!! Since I've been married (8 years) I've been a tad more grounded. My husband and I have shared only 7 addresses together.

When we traveled to see my parents in FL over the holidays, I could not wait to get back home to Oregon. I love being with my parents, but FL - which as a state was home to me for almost 7 years and where I met my husband - felt completely foriegn to me. It's amazing how one's perspective can change so quickly...

[Jolt]

Me too, except that I wasn't military - just had a Dad (and a family) that went where the oportunity took us. I've never lived in one place longer than 3 years, even as an adult on my own. I'm a gypsy at heart.

I did my share of moving around growing up as well...my dad's job was with a construction company that had to go wherever the job was (now he's at the home office of his company, so he and my mom won't be having to do that anymore). Born in CA (Bay Area), then lived in VA for a few years, then in MA where we were lucky enough to be able to stay (because the construction project in question was the Big Dig) until I started college. Actually, the toughest move was the one where we moved from one town to the one next to it due to the lease on our rental house being up--I was going into 6th grade and the middle school in the new town started with grade 5 so all the other kids had already had a year to get to know each other...starting at that school was awful and I never really did fit in socially there or at the high school. I am getting ready to move soon for a new job and hope things work out really well so I can settle in and stick around. Hopefully if/when I have kids I won't have to put them through moving around and changing schools...it can really be the pits especially if a kid isn't all that outgoing to begin with.