I guess it's good that a lot of you like a particular plan, but I don't think I could follow someone else's directives, knowing myself...
Frankly, the key for me was 1) having a spouse who has the same thinking about money/saving/etc. because so many people are with a partner who has totally different ideas on this topic and that is a real problem; 2) frankly what helped us the most was knowing that DS#1 was going to be going to college in X # of years. That gave us a date to be debt free by. A couple of stock option sales (not huge amounts, but enough) and DH getting a job with bonuses and other savings options for him, based on his level in the company at around the same time was what pushed us to use the added income wisely. We were living on his income without using any of mine for a few years before I quit work to go back to school. Even though we knew we could, it was scary to give up the safety net of my teaching income, which was quite good at that point. During those years, I used my income to pay for DS's college, buy him a car, and make other major purchases for our home, as well as invest. I felt really good that I could do this for my son and family. Our goal was to have him graduate without debt, and if he listened to our teachings, he would be set. Of course, going to a state school helped.
So many (all?) of my friends did not work when their kids were young. I had to. While, it's true that my personality would not have done so well being a stay at home mom, I think I might have liked to work part time. But, I made the choice because I was not willing to give up what I already had and it was important to me that my kids have the same things I had as a kid. Somehow, it all worked out, and now I can do what I want.