Teaching children: budgeting

[Tri Girl]

Wow, Tri Girl, starting to pay for serious stuff at 13...

My parents were quite poor but still they didn't ask that out of us and if we weren't allowed to have a job at that time, well then nothing was possible.

Don't mean to make them sound like slave-drivers. I think they just really wanted us to know the value of a dollar and to not take anything for granted. And plus, with so many kids I truly think they just needed help with expenses- and none of us minded. I didn't know any better so it didn't seem unreasonable. I earned about $20/week from babysitting and that was enough to buy lunch at school (seriously- all I wanted to eat at lunch was a pizza pocket for $1 at lunch) and the clothes I wanted (even then I was a Goodwill/thrift store kind of person). By the time I got a real job and started driving I earned a lot more. Acadmeics were VERY important to them, too, and we had to toe the line with our schoolwork. I worked hard academically to get a scholarship to college because I knew that scholarship and loans were the only way to get a degree.

I take that back- they always took us clothes shopping at the start of the school year and they bought us a new pair of shoes and a new outfit. I'm sure that set them back quite a chunk of change. They worked sooooo hard (mom worked 2 jobs, dad worked one with very long hours). They did the best they could with limited educations and resources. I never felt like I wanted for anything or that I went without. I never felt poor, until I became an adult and realized what little we had. We only took two family vacations growing up- when I was 11 we went to the Grand Canyon and when I was 14 we went to Disneyland. Those were the BEST vacations I've ever had (even better than some I've had as an adult).

[jessmarimba]

I grew up with my aunts' old toys and thrift-store clothes. We would go on vacation in the motor home for a month in the summer, but it was the thriftiest summer vacation you ever saw - my sister and I would save the coins we found to buy candy We didn't get an allowance, even when we did we couldn't "have" it (It went in the bank), we brought bag lunches to school and field trips, and I don't remember seeing a movie outside of the $1 theater growing up.

One thing I'm really good at now is vacationing on a budget (it helps that I like to camp!) But in reality, the only "fun" thing I spend money on now is plane tickets to go see my guy.

[lph]

My son has his first job now at 13, delivering the paper 3 times a week. It's 2 hours of hard work each time, and he deserves the money he makes, which is considerable for a 13.yr.old. So far he's free to spend it on anything he likes, but we cover food and lodging (of course), most public transport, basic clothing (which he cares zip about) and basic used sports equipment - bike, skis and skates. If he wants new gear or expensive clothes he'll have to pay for them himself, but so far I think all he's paid for is a computer game or two and a couple of outings with friends. If he was just spending money all over the place instead of saving it we might ask him to pay more himself, but since he's that thrifty we don't.

[tangentgirl]

One big thing I regret is not starting contributing to a 401k earlier. Dangit, I worked at <big company> for 5 years starting at age 18. They matched, but I was so young and dumb and retirement seemed stupid and far away and why would I put my money into something I didn't understand, when I could have an extra $5 in my pocket right then? I remember even trying to turn them down for health insurance, cause I didn't want to pay the extra $4 a week or whatever it was. Luckily that didn't fly. Yeah.

That kind of stuff just wasn't valued or talked about in my family. My parents didn't have jobs with *fancy* things like retirement or insurance.

High school, on the other hand, could have done a better job. There should be mandatory classes on personal finance. I didn't really figure things out until my early 30s, after making a concerted effort to learn more and change bad habits.

**Editing because I'm still shaking my head at my 18yo self. I remember literally thinking that the 401k stuff must be a scam and people who gave their money to it were suckers. Geez!**

[shootingstar]

My son has his first job now at 13, delivering the paper 3 times a week. It's 2 hours of hard work each time, and he deserves the money he makes, which is considerable for a 13.yr.old. So far he's free to spend it on anything he likes, but we cover food and lodging (of course), most public transport, basic clothing (which he cares zip about) and basic used sports equipment - bike, skis and skates. If he wants new gear or expensive clothes he'll have to pay for them himself, but so far I think all he's paid for is a computer game or two and a couple of outings with friends. If he was just spending money all over the place instead of saving it we might ask him to pay more himself, but since he's that thrifty we don't.

Great, lph. My dearie has his story of his paper route which he had back then at that age and biking around in the winter through the snow to deliver newspapers. They were poor enough, he actually offered to his mother, to pay for some food at times. Can you imagine, at that age? I know his mother took on knitting (this was the 1950's) and other work to make money. His stepfather occasionally drank too much.. and was not as frugal as his mother.

Technology these days, is just one more type of stuff for anyone to covet these days. Especially kids unless they have other passions/distractions.

I do have a favourite memory of my mother sewing a shirt for my father with standup collars, tailored cuffs.....by using expensive Viyella lightweight plaid wool from Scotland. He wore it nearly every wk. It was her way of "treating" him with a gift, I supppose. She spent a certain amount of time with him to select the fabric, etc.

[shootingstar]

I do get annoyed when there is a strong perception that kids from poor families are deficient ..in many different ways. That they are deprived of certain experiences.

True I did not go on any overnight trips..my parents just weren't into camping. We only went on day trips by car to Toronto/southern Ontario for the day.. several times per year.

I never travelled beyond until I started to earn money. So yes, later cycle-touring has given me some amazing experiences. Now I've travelled enough to have seen parts of my own country, more than some of my friends.

True, there was no money to enroll me in art classes, no music lessons for any of us, no courses for anything for anyone in family as kids. But academically, we were scoring in the top 10-15% in school. Yes, I got into furious debates about getting art supplies, which parents eventually relented. Over time, they realized it was wiser to have allow this, since they knew it kept me busy, happy and occupied at home.

So it was resorting to outdoor play, the library, sewing our own clothes (to remain fashionable), later, cheap coffee with friends, etc. Life was not easy, but not horrible. If my parents continuously ragged on how poor we were, then it would have been a complete drag.

[tulip]

I've always been horrible with money. It stems from my family never having any, growing up on food stamps until I was 12, and general anxiety about it. My mother never has never been in debt, but she's never had any money, either. My father has been in debt, but he always manages to lurch out of it, and then into it again. So I swing from being being in debt to just being broke. Fun!

Mind you, I have two houses, a relatively new car, three nice bikes, and a fabulous kitchen...so things could be worse. Now I just have to pay for those things.

Since January, however, I've come leaps and bounds with some education, a new philosophy, and some very useful software. For the first time, I have money in the bank and I'm not spending it. I have a plan to pay off my debt, and I'm working the plan. I have a budget and it's incredibly powerful, but I'm not "starving" so I know I won't "binge."

Of course I wish I had done things differently in the past, but all we can do is start where we are.

[limewave]

I do remember getting an allowance at a young age. I also remember, around 8-10 years old, my parents taking me to the bank to open my first savings account. We did Christmas Club through the bank: every month we added a little bit of money so that at Christmas time we had money for gifts. I still have the same Chirstmas account.

I feel like my parents did a good job of teaching us about money. They did help us out, but everything they did was working towards financial independence for us. For example, when I was 16 my brother and I shared a car that my parents bought and paid for the insurance--but we had to pay for gas and repairs. Then when I was 19 years old, I bought my own car and my parents paid the insurance, but only for the first 12 months. That was also when I got my first job and first apartment!

Only once, as an adult, I had to ask my parents to borrow money. It was to buy a computer to start my own freelance design business. It was an interest-free loan. I had a small monthly payment I had to make and then he also got a percentage of the profits from my free-lance jobs until he was paid in full. Hopefully I never need to borrow money from them again!

[redrhodie]

I got my first job at 12, working in a church rectory. My mom was the church secretary, so I'd come after school and work, and we'd drive home together. I didn't get an allowance once I had a job. I didn't work steadily, but had summer jobs and babysat regularly through high school.

After high school, I took a year off, and got a full time job. I lived at home, and my mother charged me rent. Her philosophy was that if I worked, I contributed. At the time, I couldn't believe I suddenly had to pay for what had always been free, but in hindsight, it was really smart and kind on her part.

There were times we really struggled, briefly on welfare, when my mom couldn't find work. We got government assistance for heat. I don't remember ever being on food stamps, but I do remember standing in line to get free cheese. We often didn't have a car, and when we did, it was never a reliable one. Going to the grocery store was a nightmare. My mother would rarely ask anyone for help, even for just a ride to the store. I think she was embarrassed, and too proud.

When I went to college, I lived at home to save money, and I didn't have to pay rent since I was in school. My dad chipped in more at this point, but I still maxed out my student loans. My mom and brother helped me pay them off after I graduated, which I'm still amazed about, and grateful for. As soon as I could afford to pay the balances myself, I took over their share. I ended up paying them off years early. I was lucky and had a good job. I helped her financially when she needed it, but it always made her feel bad to accept money from me. She never did have a good relationship with money on her own, but somehow, she taught me well.

[TxDoc]

I've always been horrible with money.

That makes two of us Tulip - I can say I'm quite horrible with finances as well.
Regardless of whether I have way more than I can reasonably spend, or just enough - I'm never able to save a cent.
Growing up I was surrounded by more money that we could find a way to spend, invest, or give away (those times are gone unfortunately), while now I just have to work for a living, so to speak - but never in my life I have been able to save or build anything.

Ironically enough, my mother was very good with finances - and still, at some point all of our assets just crumbled. Gone, just like that.
I guess that's why I really don't care anymore. I spent 30 years with my family building more and more wealth - to just watch it all disappear in like a minute with a turn of the winds. The way I see it, it's just not worth the headaches.
Or, I guess that's just my excuse for not even making an effort to save...

On the other hand, the debt burden growing on the younger generations is of concern. When I think of my students, and all the student loans that many of them have to take up in order to graduate... Sometimes I feel as if some of it is our responsibility - as if we did not build enough wealth to secure the future for them, to allow them to begin their adult lives and careers without debt. In a way, when I observe our generation compared to the one before us - sometimes I wonder if some of us have failed to meet a standard as productive citizens.
Our parents provided for the community and also provided for us, and among other things they allowed us to study and graduate and train completely debt free. Conversely, us - or at least some of us - we are failing to provide the same 'protected environment' for the younger generations. In a way it makes me feel like if I fell short on the world's expectations - or maybe just on my own...
I guess I'm not as perfect as I would like to be