Andi - good for you for knowing what is important to you and not letting your health and goals get set aside over this very passive-aggressive person. Train like you need to in order to meet your goals. I hope your friend surprises everyone - including herself - and makes it, but do what you need to do.

I am not a fast rider, probably never will be. I accept that and do the best I can - I ride all-day-long, but I do wind up riding alone on group rides. That is fine, it doesn't bother me - and I don't expect friends to slow down to ride with me. Occasionally someone does ride with me for a time, and that is great, but it doesn't ruin my ride, day, or mood, when they return to their usual riding speed