new rider with training partner issues

[tulip]

Yes, it's important to make sacrifices for friends, but that goes both ways. What sacrifices is she making to accommodate your needs?

My thoughts exactly.

Marni--Dare I ask what in the world is "tits time?"

[redrhodie]

My thoughts exactly.

Marni--Dare I ask what in the world is "tits time?"

Oh, I know this one. Sadly, it's just Time In The Saddle, and not something more risque.

[tulip]

Oh, I know this one. Sadly, it's just Time In The Saddle, and not something more risque.

Ah, don't know how, after nearly 30 years of cycling, I managed to miss that one.

[andiewest]

Thanks for explaining "tits" to me. I do agree that sacrifices go both ways in a friendship. If I felt that she was moving out of her comfort zone a little bit and committed to regular training I would be much more accepting of her slower pace. I believe that she agreed to do the ride out of fear of being left out rather than out of any interest in cycling. She admits to hating every moment that she is on the bike.

[tulip]

Maybe she could be your crew. That way she could be involved and have a role, but she wouldn't have to ride. Or maybe she should just drop the whole thing since she obviously isn't into it. There's no reason she should poop on your party.

[indysteel]

I feel kind of sorry for your friend. Maybe it's time to talk to her about it. Maybe she just needs some assurance from her that it's okay for her to back out and that you can try to find a joint goal that's more appealing to both of you. I don't know what the dynamic is between the three of you, but it is hard to feel left out in a threesome. I've been in those shoes before.

[andiewest]

I know I sound a little hard nosed. She is truly a good friend and this cycling has created a difficult dynamic between the three of us. I have tried to talk to her about this and have apologized to her for not being clear about my expectations. I guess I just wanted an apology from her, for expecting me to put her goals ahead of my own. I have let her know that she is my friend regardless of whether she cycles or not. Anyway, waiting for the weather to warm up a bit so I can get back out on my bike. I will go to a spin class tonight just to keep my legs moving.

Andie

[Cataboo]

You don't sound hardnosed to me - it's just difficult to cycle at someone else's pace. I can ride with people that are slightly faster than me or slightly slower than me without too much problem... But people that are way slower or way faster, I have a hard time riding with. The former because they're cutting into my biking/training time and it does affect my conditioning, and the latter because I feel horrible for slowing them down.