Eating disorders?

[Triskeliongirl]

I just picked up on something in your last post, which is that you are a teenager. A teenager, battling an eating disorder. I believe the way the camp acted is inexcusable, and that not only should you write a letter, but your parents should as well. At this age, we should be encouraging a positive body image in our youth, and not promoting eating disorders. You might also suggest that what they should really be measuring is performance. So, if this camp is about helping young athletes improve their performance, you need both halves of the equation, weight, but also power, to know what to be recommending that needs to be improved. I would also think that body composition analysis is important (percentage of body fat) if recommendations concerning weight (i.e. fat) loss are going to be made. Furthermore, within cycling there are certain specializations such as climbing that require a light body, but then others such as sprinting for which a heavier body can be an advantange (and which you noted you are good at), so it seems they should also be working with you to identify what specialization suits your natural body type best. And lastly, this should all be done in PRIVATE.

[shootingstar]

After reading the responses here, I am considering writing a letter to the camp director, or possibly the organizing body that runs these camps. I don't think I'm courageous enough to include my own story, but I think the way that the weigh-ins were run could be potentially damaging to others at camp too. I don't think that weighing a bunch of teenage cyclists in front of each other, posting the list of weights publicly, and commenting on weight of specific athletes is helpful for anybody, really, but I know that they needed to get that information. I think I'd suggest that they weigh each of us individually, don't post the list of weights, don't comment about weight, and/or provide individuals the option to opt-out of weighing in. I might just be over-sensitive to this issue though. What do you all think?

Just curious, how old are you?

Maybe someone else here who has gone to these training race camps, if the practice of weigh-in for female riders is common?

Is this a regular practice for men who race and train?

Is the weigh-in just for assigning partially racing category? (I know there is a racing competency pre-qualification.)

[Susan]

I don't think that weighing a bunch of teenage cyclists in front of each other, posting the list of weights publicly, and commenting on weight of specific athletes is helpful for anybody, really, but I know that they needed to get that information. I think I'd suggest that they weigh each of us individually, don't post the list of weights, don't comment about weight, and/or provide individuals the option to opt-out of weighing in. I might just be over-sensitive to this issue though. What do you all think?

I don't think you are being over-sensitive.
I think such behavior can do great damage to teenagers or even grown-up women and most important: it doesn't help anybody. No one except you and maybe your doctor need to know about your weight, so how is weighting in in front of others and posting a list of weights supposed to help anybody?

I still cringe at the thought of some weight-in occasions in my teenage years.

[Triskeliongirl]

What this reminds me of, as a teenager, was being given different color swim suits to wear for swim class depending on bust size. I remember the boys suits were all red, but the girls suits were navy blue>royal blue>aquamarine. On top of that they were so thin they were totally see through. i wonder if they still do stuff like that?

And no, I do not think you are being overly sensitive. I think you are right. Your weight should be kept private, and a coach should not be telling a young women with an eating disorder that she needs to lose weight.

[sunrise]

Thank you all for the help, support, and advice here. I really appreciate it.

I had my first race of the season this morning and did worse than I ever have before. I had a feeling I would do poorly -- I have had little motivation and/or energy to train lately, but everybody kept telling me I looked "great," stronger than I ever had before, etc., and I guess I just wanted to believe them.

I did not feel "great", strong, anything positive at all. I came very close to dropping out, and it took all I could to not cry as I (eventually) crossed the finish line. I didn't even finish with the peloton and that alone time during the race was absolutely miserable.

I couldn't stop thinking that I did this all to myself, knowing full-well that it wouldn't improve anything. I have been down this path before. I know that I can't expect to do well if I don't provide my body the fuel it needs. But, I can't seem to actually comprehend it because I am still so stuck on the weight loss -- I can't believe I can be 30 pounds lighter and still be slower.

I am frustrated. Disappointed. After my experience this morning, it's very clear to me that I'm not in any shape to race right now. It's not something I was completely oblivious to, but I don't think I fully believed it. Now, after the undeniable evidence this morning, I am finally starting to accept it.

I think I'm going to try taking a bit of time off from racing. I will likely write the letter (anonymously, or non-anonymously, I haven't decided yet). I may switch up my treatment here -- I will be able to afford more, if I am not spending that money on training/race expenses. I think I'll look into some recreational cycling opportunities too.

[redrhodie]

(((sunrise))) I'm sorry about your race, but at least you learned from it, confirmed some suspicions. You're a strong person. You're going to get through this. Take some time to get back to a healthy place, then see if you want to race. You need to nurture that mojo back.

Remember that food is energy. It's like gassing up the car. I remember that taking zinc helped me when I was having the hardest time eating (I had signs of deficiency, including loss of appetite, and loss of taste and smell, which contributed to not being able to make myself eat). I eat a lot of dairy and nuts now, but back then I took it in lozenge form, since I wasn't eating enough to get enough from food.

The other day in my lbs, I ran into a guy I know who races. I mentioned to him that he looked really skinny, and he thanked me. The thing is, I didn't mean it as a compliment. I thought he looked too skinny. He assumed I meant he looked good. He really didn't. At that point, I thought correcting him would be insulting. Ugh. Now I'm hoping I haven't made him think he should lose even more weight. It's such a weird thing to comment on someone's weight. I probably shouldn't have said anything, but it was a little shocking to see him look that thin, and it just came out. I have one of those mouths that always has a foot in it.

[Susan]

Hey Sunrise, I understand that you feel disappointed, but maybe you can also see it from a different perspective. In the end, isn't it a good thing that it doesn't make sense to be too skinny and that you do better performance-wise when you actually feel better? That way you can feel good and know that your body feels and performs better too. It would be really concerning if you could just drop 30 pounds of your body and still be as strong or even stronger than before. Your body is a beautiful machine, it's not built with such masses of empty "excess" weight that you can just drop without consequences, wouldn't make sense, would it
As disappointing as the race may have been, now you know you can trust yourself and should have done that in the first place - that's a good thing.
Feel hugged, be good to yourself, things will get better

[Dogmama]

"Weight" per se is nearly irrelevant in a sport that isn't divided into weight classes, anyway. Did they measure your body composition? Do any measurements of power-to-weight ratio or upper vs. lower body strength?

+++1. Body composition is important. Muscle weighs more than fat. Weighing athletes is stupid, IMO (especially young women prone to eating disorders.) You can have "skinny fat" people who come in at a whisper of weight & don't have the muscle mass, or energy, to make it up a 1 mile 2% grade. Honestly, the women who routinely kick my butt are bigger than me. They have larger gluteal and quadriceps muscles that makes them power up hills like a rocket. In a "weigh in" I imagine they're a good 30 pounds more than me.

Check out Nancy Clark's Sports Nutrition books. I thought I knew everything about fueling for peak performance but I learned quite a bit. She talks about eating disorders, how to eat to lose weight yet still have energy to exercise. I was glad that she addressed the myth about not eating before cardio to lose weight. You can pick up her book at Amazon & it is available on kindle.

[jelee1311]

Sunrise. Welcome to TE I'm sorry I missed this post until now. I've had eating disorders most of my life(started when ii was 9 & I'm 40 now)so I understand the siren song of people complimenting on weightloss.I'm in recovery now but I really have to work on not falling into old routines. The positive side to cycling is that it makes me healthy and strong I have a good support system and as hard as it may be to believe weight and food don't rule my life. Weight can be an issue to anyone with eating disorders no matter what sport,but I have seen the weight thing with my husband who is a stage racer and its kind of scary. You can never be too skinny for some people but I think its that way in a lot of elite level athletics. Its all about your life and making healthy choices for you. I hope you continue to get counseling and support because its important. Be good to yourself.

[NbyNW]

Just wanted to chime in with some support and say that I admire your courage in starting this thread.

The relationship of sports psychology, eating disorders and sports nutrition is one that needs to get more attention.

If you are a teenager, your body is still developing. That means your ideal weight and other stats related to your performance is also still developing. No coach and no amount of sports science can say for sure where you will perform the best, especially if you intend to compete in this sport for a long time. Yes, there are guidelines, but you also need to trust your own intuition.

I've been through the experience of unintentially losing muscle -- due to extreme stress -- and it can definitely take a lot of time and deliberate work to regain that muscle and be in a good place.

Be strong, and be good to yourself!

[shootingstar]

Sunrise, go for some great rides on your own to enjoy. Not sure if you ride alone much, but it can be a great soother. Choose your favourite route and do it over and over. Until you get naturally at your own pace, better.

Keep a cycling diary or blog.

To heck with the rest of the world.

[sunrise]

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply to this thread here. I really appreciate the support and had previously typed up a long reply, but ended up accidentally deleting it. Argh!

I haven't been on my bike in over a week. It was really strange at first, and this Saturday was very hard for me because I skipped a race I had been looking forward to all winter. I did well there last year, and I honestly think I could have done really well if I would have taken better care of my body this winter. But, I didn't. I stayed at home, instead, and tried to stay busy. I ended up cooking (and freezing!) at least 5-6 different meals, so I should be set for a long time now.

I am finally about ready to head out for a ride here soon, I think. I'm actually looking forward to it now, and I think it will be a good warm-up for my soccer game tonight. I love the idea of a cycling diary (or a blog!) and hope that I can get back to riding for fun again, without any pressure to go faster, be lighter, etc.

I also really appreciate the help in reframing my disappointments about last weekend's race. Thank you so much for helping me to see that I really can trust my body to settle at the weight it's healthiest at -- I certainly didn't seem to improve things much by losing the weight in the manner I did. Lesson learned for good this time, I hope!

[redrhodie]

I just came across this article http://cycleandstyle.com/2011/03/the...ower-over-you/ by Nancy Clark on the "Cycle and Style" web magazine. I thought you'd find it interesting.

[sunrise]

Thank you so much for that article, redrhodie! I thought it was great!! I have a few of Nancy Clark's nutrition books, and my nutritionist actually knows her pretty well too, so I think that helped me to "trust" the advice in the article a little more. I have bookmarked the article, and may go back to read again (hopefully more of the info. will soak in when it is not 3am )

My miserable race seems to have been a real turning point for me, and I've had the best eating this past week that I've had in probably a good 6 months now. I also haven't weighed myself in a week, which has been incredibly difficult. I was doing okay with it all until tonight... hoping that I'll have a better attitude when I wake up tomorrow (and the article helped a bit already too!).

I actually think I might be able to race this weekend -- from a physiological perspective, my glycogen stores are likely much better stocked than they were before, and I think my electrolytes are better balanced too. But, mentally, I just don't know that I have it in me...my training has been pretty much non-existent and I don't have any motivation to do much at all lately. Clearly, my mental toughness "skills" leave a lot to be desired...

[KnottedYet]

But, mentally, I just don't know that I have it in me...my training has been pretty much non-existent and I don't have any motivation to do much at all lately. Clearly, my mental toughness "skills" leave a lot to be desired...

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your "mental toughness"!

In fact, I'd praise your lack of motivation: your body sent you a clear signal that things are not going so well, and you held back.

That is what is supposed to happen!