((((sunrise)))). I'm not sure what advice I can really give. Shame on that coach for talking to you about weight in that way. It's totally irresponsible. Of the female racers I know, few of them are what I would call thin. Most of them are exceedingly muscular, so putting all other issues aside, I'm not sure it was even "good" advice.

Have you worked at all with a therapist or nutritionist? Is there anybody on your team that you could confide in?

I'm typically of the belief that when we engage in addictive behaviors, then we have to remove ourselves from environments/people that trigger those behaviors. So, while I think you should continue to ride, I have to wonder whether doing it competitively--at least with your current team--is the best thing for you. Unless and until you can tolerate anybody in your circle pressuring you about weight, then it's no different from an alcoholic going to a bar and being unable to resist being offered a drink.

But that's a drastic decision, and I tend to think it's one that you should talk to a therapist about. If you would stop competing, I do hope you continue to ride, ideally with people who don't equate being fit and healthy with being thin.