Another minor insight I remember from the time I was struggling through this myself: part of the grief process was connected to a change in my self-image and perception of the world. My place in the family was changed, my role in regards to the others. The "story of my life" that had been true for over thirty years had changed, I could no longer tell it the same way. I tried. In my head everything was the same, but still it was untrue, at the same time. It felt like having a rug pulled out from under me, as if I had two warring realities trying to exist at the same time. Very unsettling. I mention it because I can imagine that losing a parent can have some of that role-change in it.

My deepest sympathies to all of you.