Annie & Snapdragon,

You have my deepest sympathies. Your reactions are totally normal. I was a crying sobbing wreck in the early days (even months) after my dad died suddenly. I felt like I was in a fog, and I couldn't imagine all the happy people around me...it just seemed surreal. I felt like a completely different person from my "old self".

That feeling gradually lifted, and the crying jags lessened gradually over time. Five years later, I feel completely like myself again, whatever that is, but I am forever changed for having lost a parent. Even my DH doesn't really get it b/c he still has both of his parents, and I hate that he will have to go through this one of these days. I do still have my mom, thank goodness.

I had a terrible time sleeping in those first few months and finally went to my doctor for a sleeping pill Rx. I took Lunesta, and it really did help greatly, as I would just lie in bed rehashing everything, imagining the accident, and practically end up in a panic attack without it. So, that is is something to consider if you are obsessing at night. That was the time my thoughts would take over completely, without the distractions of the day.

Huge hugs to you both, and to badger too. May you all find peace in time, and joy in your memories of your dear fathers, as I have.

Emily