Dear So and So

[emily_in_nc]

We gave up our landline when we moved this June. I think I've gotten maybe one solicitation call on my cell phone since then. Love it!

[KnottedYet]

Dear You-Know-Who-You-Are

I am so tired of dealing with the post-flood mess.

I complained for months that the drains were being weird. When later 14 apartments flood, do you think maybe you should have listened to me?

Now the carpet, which you refused to replace after the flood 5 weeks ago, is developing 2 or 3 new holes every fricking time I vacuum. My vacuum cleaner is older than you. I sincerely doubt that my vacuum is destroying the carpet.

Do not tell me again that *I* have to pay to have the carpet replaced.

Just give me new carpet and new padding.

Love, hugs, and juicy wet (post-flood) kisses,
Knot

[bmccasland]

Eewwww Knot. Yucky. Hope things work out.

[fincsher]

Dear Mum and Dad,

Happy Anniversary to you.. I am happy that you have very strong relationship.. For 50 years of married, you're not having personal problems.. I am so proud of you. Keep that up Mum and Dad..


Your Loving Son,
Moby

[snapdragen]

Awesome fincsher! My parents were married 62 years - I find it amazing.

[Owlie]

Dear people--

ARGH. Stop telling me that dairy/gluten/trendy food "allergen" of the week is causing my eczema. I've had it for 20 years. It's not diet-related--I can eat as much dairy/gluten/trendy "allergen" as I want and not have a problem, and I can totally abstain and have horribly red and itchy hands. It may work for you/your offspring/your cousin's best friend's college roommate, but it won't work for me. If you really want to know, it's stress-related. I'm going to go eat a bagel with cream cheese and wash it down with a big glass of milk. :P
Oh, and stop bathing your offspring in anti-bacterial soap and let the kid go play in some dirt.

Me.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Dear newly adopted kitty Sheba,
Can you please keep in mind now that although you used to live as a street urchin under the porch of the kind woman who brought you to the humane shelter last October, that you are now a safe and beloved indoor feline living in the lap of luxury?
I mean, was it really necessary for you to unexpectedly dash out the kitchen door between our legs this morning at 5Freakin' degrees into the snow and ice and run merrily down the driveway, thus scaring the crap out of us and causing us to chase after you coatless and gloveless in our socks in the snow before you disappear altogether?
But Thank You at least for having enough common sense in your little kitty walnut brain to then have a "Hmmm..." moment, turn around, and dash back up the driveway to the porch and back into the house, to our amazed and extreme relief!

[indysteel]

I'm glad Sheba came back inside so quickly. DH and I are totally cracking up over "little kitty walnut brain" by the way. Too funny!

[Catrin]

She had a memory lapse about what it was like to live outdoors until she got a taste from the cold, ice and snow- So glad to hear that Sheba turned around!

[Becky]

Dear current boss and potential new boss-

I suspected that applying for this lateral transfer might cause some tension and consternation. I actually thought that a chance of scenery and pace would be good for me. Now I realize that, no matter what decision I make, I will offend and upset one of you. I hate office politics. Maybe the best thing to do is to decline an interview and save everyone, including myself, a ton of trouble. But then I could ruin future opportunities for myself. I don't know what to do.

Sincerely,
Stressed out

[bmccasland]

Dear current boss and potential new boss-

I suspected that applying for this lateral transfer might cause some tension and consternation. I actually thought that a chance of scenery and pace would be good for me. Now I realize that, no matter what decision I make, I will offend and upset one of you. I hate office politics. Maybe the best thing to do is to decline an interview and save everyone, including myself, a ton of trouble. But then I could ruin future opportunities for myself. I don't know what to do.

Sincerely,
Stressed out

Becky - take the interview. You have nothing to loose, really. Your future is in your control, and you have to look out for you. Not only that, you don't have a job offer, only an interview. And when they ask you "if offered the job, would you take it?" The answer is "yes". You are not there to have fun doing an interview and that's it.

[Eden]

Dear newly adopted kitty Sheba,
Can you please keep in mind now that although you used to live as a street urchin ......

I'm not sure if they ever *totally* get over it.... I found my boy kitty abandoned by his mother outside when he was about 7-9 weeks old. He escaped once for a few hours, but otherwise hasn't been outside for years... Just last week when I had a really heavy bag of groceries in my arms he decided to pull a runner. I dropped the bag and dove after him. He got about 4 feet and ran in a bush (fortunately this is all in the little 10 foot breezeway between my house and my neighbors). I belated closed my back door (girl kitty looking out... what's all the fuss??) to keep the other cat in and dove back for Koji. He ran to the door (which I had closed), and finding the way blocked ran for my neighbors back yard. My neighbor heard the commotion and was starting out his back door, which scared the cat back into my arms - where in he was promptly deposited back in the house.... whew....

I don't know why he did it, because it scares him half to death to be outside. Still I have to watch him when I come inside, because he's always trying to stick his nose out of the door. Sometimes I wonder if I should leash train him. I'm not sure my girl (from the humane society) has ever been outside. I've never really tempted her, but I think you could leave her in front of an open door and she'd just sit there looking out.

[KnottedYet]

Dear people--

ARGH. Stop telling me that dairy/gluten/trendy food "allergen" of the week is causing my eczema. I've had it for 20 years. It's not diet-related--I can eat as much dairy/gluten/trendy "allergen" as I want and not have a problem, and I can totally abstain and have horribly red and itchy hands. It may work for you/your offspring/your cousin's best friend's college roommate, but it won't work for me. If you really want to know, it's stress-related. I'm going to go eat a bagel with cream cheese and wash it down with a big glass of milk. :P
Oh, and stop bathing your offspring in anti-bacterial soap and let the kid go play in some dirt.

Me.

<raises hand>

Guilty, as charged.

(only because my eczema is totally stress-and-gluten-related and disappeared completely when I cut it out)

[Becky]

Becky - take the interview. You have nothing to loose, really. Your future is in your control, and you have to look out for you. Not only that, you don't have a job offer, only an interview. And when they ask you "if offered the job, would you take it?" The answer is "yes". You are not there to have fun doing an interview and that's it.

Beth- You're absolutely right about taking the interview. However, I'm not really sure that the grass is any greener on the other side of this particular fence. For the sake of brevity, I've left out a lot of the office political crap about why I know that people are upset and why I'm fairly certain that this will lead to a job offer. I could be wrong though....

As it stands right now, I don't know if I would accept a potential offer. For that reason, I'm wondering if accepting a interview is fair to the hiring manager.

*sighs*

(And yes, I'm one of those analytical, contingency-plan-for-everything, overthinking types. Probably time for a pro/con list or two.)

[marni]

dear idiot texas driver turning left on 1093 in fulshear,

Yes your john deer green and yellow truck matches the john deer green and yellow trailer hauling a green and yellow john deer riding lawn mower. Never the less, that does not give you the right to zoom past me while in the right hand lane and then hang a left and pull in in front of me as I turn left with the light from the proper left turn lane.

May your tractor break down, your trailer develop a flat and your truck blow a piston as you pull into your driveway to mow your lawn, and may your lawn be infested in gopher holes, cow patties, fire ant hills at least a foot high and nasty smelly mushrooms.

thank goodness for an alert driver behind me who saw what was happening and gave me space to pull an emergency stop.

Other than that it was a lovely ride. God bless Texas drivers I always say.