Dear UPS man,

You usually come at about 10 am every morning.

Today when I'm waiting for you to come so I can get out of here, it's 3 pm and you haven't visited me yet. This puts me square in the middle of rush hour, which means I can't really leave for another 4 hours or so when I'd wanted to leave at about 10 am this morning.

You suck. Even though you are bringing me a present. *dance*