I miss her

[shootingstar]

I've had to take each major change in life in short time period ..in measured steps. So when I get around to making use of some counselling services that I have access via employer's benefit plan...

Wow, NWBY, re your mother maybe not knowing. But maybe she might know after all these years....

Of course my cycling friend, didn't find out that her father overdosed until a few yrs. after he died. (By the way, her brother made a film that was aired nationally...about their father's fortune cookie making business...here in Calgary. A dedication to the father..)

I don't necessarily ascribe genetic predispositions. I know for certain the process of immigration and acculturation into another new culture and language that is radically different, with cross-cultural overlay for our family can sometimes cause stress/depression when values clash between generations, and there's familial conflict. I wouldn't necessarily label that whole messy stuff, bipolar at all. Imagine not even having a language/vocabulary to translate to my own mother fully what I am thinking /feeling or any of her children. And vice versa.

As mentioned probably in another thread months ago, I underwent counselling for 1 yr. when I was at university. There were alot of things going in life related to family, need for independence/autonomy.... It was highly beneficial to me. I so wished I could have been there for my sister to encourage her not to give up on counsellling or find a different therapist. (she saw psychiatrist, but gave up later) Participating in therapy takes personal time, effort and risking your heart to explore in ways and solutions a person didn't consider before.

[PamNY]

Shootingstar, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the pain.

As far as the children, I think they should be told. In many family situations, children figure out the truth, and the parents/adults are actually protecting themselves when they conceal things. In my life, I was harmed far more by ill-kept secrets than by facing difficult truths. Of course, there are familial and cultural differences which I can't know, and no one knows what is right for another family. But it's something to consider.

I hope your family finds peace and comfort in time.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I add my wishes for you as well, I hope you find strength and peace somehow after your sister's passing. It's terribly hard, I know.