Shootingstar, I am so so sorry. I know what it's like to lose a sibling, but I can only imagine how painful, and confusing, and distressing it must be to lose her to suicide. It may or may not help to think about that depression makes a person incredibly self-centered, so that she probably had no thought at all of anyone else in the family and how they might have affected this when she made her decision.

Lots of strength and peace to you.