Becky,

I am one who has cut relatives out of my life, specifically my aunt (my mom's sister), which also means I no longer see my cousins or their kids. I was very close to my aunt growing up, as she was only 16 when I was born. She and her husband lived with us for a couple of years as newlyweds. She was always contentious and opinionated, as opposed to my mom who was tolerant and kind. My family moved away when I was a teen and she became bitter over the fact that she was left to care for my grandparents. My uncle died at the young age of 52 and she has never recovered; despite all kinds of offers of help, both social and psychological, she just became more bitter and lives totally through her kids. When I moved back to the area, we saw each other a lot for awhile, but it was always at her convenience. What was once just a little neurotic is now controlling. She tried to control my mom's death, which of course, she couldn't. My cousins (2 of the 3) became, well, one became a right wing political extremist and the other became an Orthodox Jew. My opinions never counted and my aunt is brainwashed by Fox News at this point... Despite the fact, I still tried to find something in common with them, they all decided to hold grudges against me and my husband for things (stupid things) that happened ten or fifteen years ago. I quit calling my aunt about a year and a half ago. They are racist and intolerant, so different than my own parents. I feel badly she has lost the chance to see my kids as fully independent adults, but I just couldn't take it anymore.