Bike vs truck

[jessmarimba]

Completely agree. Hungry and tired is what made me wreck back in July. I'd lost my sports drink bottle on a drop on our first lap around the trail - the second lap was primarily to look for it! (never found it). Going on 4 hours with just water and a mini lara bar was not enough.

Hope Nell is recovering well and you're hanging tough yourself! I had a semi go around me like that once in a car - I'd turned my blinker on at the top of a hill, knowing he was behind me and he'd need time to slow down. Thank goodness I checked my mirror before I turned left at the bottom, b/c he was passing me instead. Caution gained after an experience like that is a lifelong lesson, but it took awhile for the paranoia to subside.

[Trekhawk]

YIKES
Sending wishes to your daughter for a speedy recovery.

[Biciclista]

hugs to your whole family. Sounds like your daughter is doing great

[Melalvai]

Thanks all, the latest round of well-wishes came at a great time for me as I just woke up from a bad dream (an actual dream, not the real nightmare) that left me feeling kind of low again.

Nell is doing great. We think she'll be in school later this week. We even thought maybe a half-day yesterday, but she (wisely) took a 3 hour nap instead. She's eager to be back with her friends and she is sure getting bored. She hasn't looked at her homework yet, and I've told her she has to do that before I let her go back to school, so that I know she can do something mentally fatiguing.

As she is getting better I'm more able to focus on myself and realize for the first time that I'm not actually fine. Yesterday the screaming in my head stopped at last! (For several days whenever I closed my eyes I endlessly replayed my own screaming.) I felt so calm and peaceful that I finally quit cleaning like a maniac and felt very lethargic. I even took a short nap at the same time she did.

I could tell I was feeling down in the evening so I did some yoga, and this is kind of weird: "Warrior II" reminded me of my left turn signal and suddenly I was replaying the entire thing again. It was so strong & vivid it left me with that bitter taste & nausea. So much for yoga!

I know I'm going to be ok, give myself time, these things will stop, and get back into a normal routine sooner than later--and get back on my bike too. My parents are coming up this weekend and I told my dad to bring his bike. We're going biking no matter how cold it is, just to get me back on my bike. I dread getting on my bike by myself, and forget about biking on the road where it happened (in front of our house), but I am really looking forward to going for a ride with my dad.

[kmehrzad]

Mel - good idea about getting back on the bike as soon as you feel comfortable. So sorry about the accident and am glad to hear that Nell is doing well. Give yourself time to get over this shocking incident ... ease into your routine. You've got your well wishers from TE behind you girl.

[OakLeaf]

Hugs to both of you. I'm so glad your daughter's feeling better.

I strongly second Crankin's recommendation to talk with someone about it, just a few sessions. If that isn't feasible, journal, journal, journal. Process the feelings so you're not still dealing with them to this extent months from now.

[Crankin]

Mel, I am sorry the yoga evoked those thoughts. That's why yoga is actually a system of therapy to process trauma; trouble is, that sometimes when the stuff is so vivid, someone should be there with you to talk about it at the same time.

It sounds like things are moving toward recovery.

[PamNY]

Thanks all, the latest round of well-wishes came at a great time for me as I just woke up from a bad dream (an actual dream, not the real nightmare) that left me feeling kind of low again.

Processing trauma takes as long as it takes. You can count on me (and I'm sure everyone else here) for the long haul.

I'm so glad you are able to share some of this -- it does help, and it does sound like everyone is moving toward healing. I hope you enjoy riding with your dad.

[jelee1311]

I'm sorry yoga wasn't more of a comfort to you,hopefully you can find something else to help. Maybe it will be a ride with your dad,just hang in there. I'm glad your daughter is doing so well,kids are amazingly resilient. You will get through this it just will take time (sigh) sending good thoughts to you

[Melalvai]

Yesterday I went for a jog and it was GREAT. I saw 2 deer. I felt really good during & after the jog. Then I talked to the director of the Fitness Center about bicycle advocacy stuff and that was really good too.

Today I went for a swim. That didn't go so well. I did get into the "zone" but it wasn't a good zone. I got really really angry. When I realized that, I tried to re-direct my thoughts, eventually gave up and got out of the pool. But I went on to have a (comparatively) productive day after that.

It felt really, really weird to drive to the gym, and to drive to the pool. (2 miles & 3 miles)

Yesterday Nell tackled homework for the first time. She got annoyed with the tedious math matrices so she spent an hour programming her calculator to do it (it probably would have taken 20 minutes to do the whole assignment by hand). Because of the wreck she's behind on her NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and she wrote about 2000 words for that. So obviously she can handle mentally fatiguing activity!

She went back to school at lunchtime today! Her shoulder hurts so I carried her very heavy backpack to her locker. I followed her like her packhorse through the halls and saw her greet a kid here and there, and then a whole chorus of "Nell!" just like in Cheers when Norm walks in the bar. I expected her to be exhausted at home, because even yesterday she got really tired around 7 pm, but she's not. She came home and wrote another 2000 words.

So she's doing better, and I'm doing better, and no one had nightmares last night. My husband who is the calm pillar of strength through all of this is finally starting to show some signs of stress. He's not sleeping so well and he's very, very tired. And a fair bit irritable. I'm keeping an eye on him...he's coping with it his way, by watching star trek marathons.

My parents will be here in a couple hours. I am really looking forward to their visit.

[tulip]

Any chance you can get your daughter a small rolling suitcase/briefcase for her books? Better than backpacks, particularly when injured.