Maybe men's shorts might fit you better. Have you tried any on?

To the question you actually posed, I'd say neither. If the waist is too tight, it'll be uncomfortable, and on me, it puts pressure on my bladder; if the hips are too loose, the chamois will move around and chafe.

Otherwise, maybe just keep trying different brands until you get one that fits. Like any other apparel, different manufacturers build for different body types.

Also, call TE. They know their stock inside and out (literally!) and can help suggest something that might fit you.