I have spent my entire life feeling like I've been overweight and as long as I can remember I have been denying myself meals. I am 5'2 and until I reached my 30's (I am now 43) I weighed between 105 and 112. I look back at pictures taken of me from those years and I can see that I wasn't overweight...at all. Why the poor self image?

Not sure what happend when I hit my 30's, becuase somehow I managed to creep up to 130 while still avoiding most meals. Now I didn't just feel fat, I was, and my metabolism was completely wacked! And tell me, just what kind of example did I set for my daughters? I know...terrible! They are now 18 and 20 and eat like normal people. Thank goodness I don't have to carry that guilt around with me.

I must also admit that I have been an active gym member for the last twenty-three years. However, these last three years I kicked it up from five (one hour) workouts a week, to seven. Most days I train for two hours, but when preparing for a tri, or getting ready for a Grand Canyon trek, I can easily kick it up to three or four hours a day. So how does one drop the extra pounds? I'm not sure if it possible for me, but with the extra activity these last few years I have become very strong...and fit. My doctor thinks the weight is fine and I am coming to terms with how I look. However, deep down, I still yearn to drop some weight and look as "fat" as I did in my twenties!