Odd?

[m.eliza]

I'm working on a master's in elementary ed right now and JUST finished with a special ed class where we talked a little about ODD. This is what I know about it: If she does have ODD or EBD (emotional/behavioral disorder), then the types of discipline that work on other kids may not work for her. She may not be acting out just to get to you. She might not know any other way to express her emotions. What I was taught to do if a student has ODD or EBD is, instead of punishing the child for the bad behavior, ask her "Why did you do that?" Sometimes finding the root of the behavior can be the first step toward solving the problem. Is she starting kindergarten this year or next? Has anyone from Early Intervention ever come out to do an evaluation? They would have some great ideas as well, and they will be able to write up an IEP (if it's necessary) so that her teachers know the best methods for effectively teaching her and dealing with her behavioral issues when she starts school.

[tulip]

I was catsitting for a neighbor last night and decided to channel surf on her tv since I don't have one.

I came across SuperNanny and the child was about 9 and she totally acted out towards her mother--kicking, screaming, biting. It was terrible! The mother fought back just as hard and they were both screaming and getting nowhere.

The SuperNanny had what I thought was a very creative idea: she made a very pretty box called a Thought Box, and gave the girl a fluffy pen and pretty paper. The girl wrote thoughts in the Thought Box for the mother to read. Then the mother and daughter would discuss the thoughts. This allowed the daughter to express herself in a non-violent way, and allowed the mother to listen (something she did not do when the child had a tantrum), and allowed them both the space they needed to talk about things.

A 5-year old might be too young, but I thought it was a lovely idea.

[spindizzy]

I also liked the books mentioned by SFA and Northstar. Parenting is such a minefield of emotions and struggles. I think I also read a book called "Parenting the Spirited Child" (I'm not at at home now- can't check the bookshelf).

I think it is important to find techniques that both parents can work with- it is critical to be a united front. (this is something we still struggle with - though our kids are much older - my husband feels he has to help them with everything- thus preventing them from the emotional turmoil of failure..I could go on and on about this....)

Pick your battles, don't get into negotiations. It's hard work - parenting.
(((Limewave)))

[limewave]

I have great list of resources to check out! I'm heading to the library this afternoon.

I do think that I need to give DD some tools to help her let out her aggression in an appropriate manner. It's okay for her to get angry and frustrated, we just need to find a good outlet for her. Then once she's calmed down we can talk about the situation and do a consequence when needed.

I wish DD could write down her thoughts in a journal or in letters, but she can't read yet. We're working on it . . . I think that would help her a lot.