your rant is not pathetic, and your feelings are very justified. Sometimes no matter how much you tell your brain not to, your heart has other ideas.

Just out of college this happened to me. Almost the same situation as yours. We were best friends for 2 years- both single the whole time. Did everything together. He didn't want me like that, and I went ahead and fell in love. We worked together, and when he started seeing someone I was crushed. He got engaged within a couple months and I was devastated. I quit my job and cut him out because I just couldn't still be his friend. It was so painful. My heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry...

Hugs, hugs and more hugs coming your way. I wish I could tell you it will be OK, but I know how much you hurt right now...