Quote Originally Posted by lph View Post
, it's about you being more important than him. Or him feeling less important than you.
Or perhaps because he feels cyclng is more important than he is.

I think you have to think about

What makes you happy. What fills you up and evokes passion and excitement.

What are your priorities? What is most important to you in life.

How can you balance your priorities. Cycling competitively (in higher levels) is short term. Cycling competitively is not. Your level of competition and competitive goals change. I intend to compete till I die. I intend to stay married to this honey of a man I am proud to call husband forever.

Do you and your SO function as a team or individuals looking out to get individual needs met.

You might consider a frank and open discussion with him. What makes him happy. What does he want. What would happy married life look like to him. What does he need out of a relationship (note need not want). Wha does he want out of a relationship.

Negotiate. If your cycling is your priority and to meet your goals you can't give him what he needs then the ball is in his court to put up with it or leave. If a long term loving relationship is your priority then you might need to give a little. Give him an end date or an end goal that you work toward together. How much does he need. If he is your priority then your goals might have to change to competing against yourself (personal bests) or Mary Jones-Im-gonna-beat-you-this-time. Or change the type of race you compete in.

We want to have our cake (or powergel) and eat it too, but sometimes you can't. Darn it!

Your man probably feels bad right now. Of course he does. His world changed. He lost your time and attention. Now he's married to a hottie who he feels doesn't have time for him (just guessing). That leaves him in a pretty sucky place.

I would suggest counselling too, to figure out if there is a way for both of you to get your priorities figured out and both your needs met.

Good luck.

Be honest with yourself.