Dear So and So

[Blueberry]

Dear Mother:

I do not appreciate starting my day by having you whine at me during the entire 45 minute drive to work. I do not like to start my day on a down note. Since it's the only time you have to "talk" (since ever other time I try to call you you hang up on me for a "more important" phone call), I try to accommodate you. But I might start turning off my cell phone in the mornings.

The damsel in distress act doesn't work anymore. You are nearly 60. You are college educated. You have had someone pay off your mountain of credit card debt for you. Twice. I'm sorry you're there again, but it's not my problem and I'm pretty sure no one is going to bail you out this time. I'm sorry that typing is *so* hard and that you're going to have to pay someone to do it for you, but I'm not volunteering my little free time. I'm also sorry that you're going to have to find a "moronic five year old" to help you with your computer. I've tried to help you for hours and hours. If you would have listened, instead of telling me how to live my live, we might have made more progress.

If you're going to run a business, you can't rely on the free help of friends and family for years and years. 7 years is long enough. You should be able to answer a question of what sales volume it would take to make your business profitable instead of whining about a (pretty good) review someone wrote about you 2 years ago - which is now the "sole reason" your business is failing. Asking me for ideas for how to make it work is probably not the best idea after I gave you lots of ideas that you ignored because "you didn't know how to implement them" and "figuring out shipping rates was too hard."

I'm sorry that it's *so* hard to commute 45 minutes and work an 8 hour day. That's what I've been doing for - oh - about 7 years. You should count yourself lucky that you have a day job instead of complaining about the time, your 30 minute lunch that "just isn't long enough" and that "your life is over" because you have to work. Considering quitting the day job and going back to said business is probably not a good idea. But hey - it's your life.

Grow up,

Your daughter who is going to quit being the mom

Dear Grandma:

I love you, but I really need for you to stop facilitating the above behavior. I could also do without the lectures about how my mom just "needs to talk" and "I should let her" because her life is "so hard" and you "feel sorry for her." I wonder if this could be part of the problem?

Your granddaughter who still loves you, but wishes you would stay out of certain relationships