Insulting compliments

[GLC1968]

I'm sorry but just because you see someone do something stupid, you can't assume intent or lack of knowledge -- they might have done something thoughtlessly or made a split-second decision and then realized that they made a mistake. This happens to me from time to time and I do my best to learn from it. It's ironic that you don't want me to make assumptions based on what I see when I look at you, but you think it's okay for you to make assumptions based on what you see when you look at someone else.

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

My only assumption was when you talked about "plenty of experienced riders who do stupid and dangerous things" you meant that they were doing those things on purpose.

If you meant otherwise, then I misunderstood.

[Crankin]

Yes, when a faster person says, "good job," to me I am pissed that they are faster. It feels condescending. Good job at what? Being slower than them? They don't know anything about me.
I realize quite well that this is in my head. But, I don't think some realize how this can make someone feel, when you are trying as hard as you can and can't go any faster, for whatever reason.
Most of the time, I don't want to be going faster than I am at any given moment. But, I would appreciate, a "hello", or "nice day" comment more than "good job." I know when I pass someone going slower than me, I just say, "good morning", or whatever.

[Veronica]

Why does "good job" have to be about going fast? Why is everyone so obsessed with being fast? Okay, I get it, if you're racing. Yeah, I want to be fast when I'm competing. But if you're out there riding your bike for fun, why be obsessed with where you are on the road in comparison to someone else? There's a lot more to bike riding than the being the first one up the hill. I think it's a compliment unless you can hear the sarcasm in their voice. And if it's a total stranger, you have no way of knowing if that is their sarcastic voice or not.

And just for the record at every tri, when I'm looking around at all the twig girls who are guaranteed to kick my butt on the bike and the run I remind myself that MY race is not about them.

Veronica

[redrhodie]

[QUOTE=Veronica;513932]Why does "good job" have to be about going fast? Why is everyone so obsessed with being fast? Okay, I get it, if you're racing. Yeah, I want to be fast when I'm competing. But if you're out there riding your bike for fun, why be obsessed with where you are on the road in comparison to someone else? There's a lot more to bike riding than the being the first one up the hill.

Thank you for that. I totally agree.