Insulting compliments

[ny biker]

I think you only have to think about how it feels to be told "You look like you've been doing this for a while!" - to know that it's an insult to assume someone is a complete newbie.

Still, it does seem that at all levels and all types of cycling, there's a fairly strong snob factor. On the road, at least - I don't know for mountain biking, maybe the off-road crowd is different. Bicycle racing is like most forms of racing, just plain cut-throat, someone from another team won't say anything at all unless it's a subtle insult meant to psych you out. And whether you're a commuter, tourist, or participant in an organized ride, it's not unusual for another cyclist to sneer at you for SOMETHING, whether it's an article of clothing, a technique, your hair, whatever.

The contrast with running is pretty stark, to me, and that's what's interesting. As a new runner I'm like Catrin as a new rider - I'm not insulted if someone assumes I'm a new runner, because I AM one - but one of the things that's so cool to me about foot races (mid-pack and slower, anyway) is how encouraging everyone is. If you saved too much at the start so that you zoom by somebody late in the race, they DO cheer you on. And etiquette seems to be if you hang around at the finish, you're supposed to cheer for those finishing behind you.

So I guess my take is kind of mixed. I do think it's an unequivocal insult to assume someone is doing something for the first time. Even if it IS their first time, they don't need to be reminded how woefully unprepared they appear to everyone else. But I don't think it's an insult to tell someone they're doing well in a NON-competitive setting, even if the person saying it happens to be faster. (If they were THAT much faster, they wouldn't even be in the same neighborhood to be able to say it, for one thing. )

Um, first of all, in my experience it IS unusual for a cyclist to sneer at other cyclists, for any reason. And the DC metro area is not exactly known for it's warm fuzzy polite people.

And it wasn't clear to me that the person in the OP was assuming anything. And being a first-timer doesn't mean you look woefully unprepared. Really, I think people are reading way too much into other people's attempts to be friendly.

[tulip]

Really, I think people are reading way too much into other people's attempts to be friendly.

+1! I feel like saying, "Lighten up, people!" but that will probably offend someone.

[PamNY]

Um, first of all, in my experience it IS unusual for a cyclist to sneer at other cyclists, for any reason. And the DC metro area is not exactly known for it's warm fuzzy polite people. .

I agree -- my interactions with cyclists are usually great. And I'm in Manhattan.
Racing I know nothing about, but plain old bikers are the best.

As far as the OP's experience, honestly, I would have noticed it. But it could just be an awkward attempt to be friendly.

[TxDoc]

Really, I think people are reading way too much into other people's attempts to be friendly.

I agree with you.
Most people just want to be nice, help, and make new friends - so how about sometimes we lighten up, smile, and appreciate a kind gesture?

[BikeDutchess]

Really, I think people are reading way too much into other people's attempts to be friendly.

+3! And some have honestly admitted that it may be more a reflection of their own insecurities or sensitivities than other people's intentions.

[Crankin]

And I am glad to see there are others who are just as sensitive as me about this stuff.
On the other hand, there's a lot of stuff that doesn't bother me at all, compared to most people.