Insulting compliments

[malaholic]

Yeah, I tend to agree with the other ladies - since everything else she was saying seemed to be complimentary, the "first century" question probably was not meant in a condescending way.

I appreciate hearing your perspective on this though....because a question like that is exactly the sort of question I might ask someone on a ride, and it's good for me to realize that it might not always be taken that way! I am forever sticking my foot in my mouth saying things that are easily taken in a way I didn't mean them, and I'm really trying to work on that.

Maybe a better question to start a chat would be something more along the lines of "have you done this ride before?" instead of "is this your first century?"

[lph]

You know, I would have been miffed too, at being taken for a beginner when I felt that I'd really achieved something and made a noticeable improvement. That said, it was obviously not meant as an insult, and probably just fell out of her mouth as casual conversation. And definitely, if ishe is a beginner herself it's a natural thing to say because it's what she's all aglow about herself.

I'll add one: my favourite "insulting compliment" came from an middle-aged gentleman a few years ago who asked me and a (girl)friend of mine, as we arrived at a parking lot on skis out of the mountains with sleds and camping gear, if we'd "really been out there all alone"

i.e. without any men