Would you accept a monetary gift from a friend?

[moderncyclista]

She can be my friend.

She also, is welcome to be mine. LOL.

I don't think there is anything wrong with friends helping friends out. My mother ran into a tough spot and her neighbor gave her $200 bucks. Said she didn't have to pay it back if she didn't want to. My mother who is in her 60's scrimped and saved (it took her 8 whole months) but she paid her back. She understood she didn't have to, but she wanted to. The kindness was invaluable to my mother though. Enjoy the kindness of others. If you have an opportunity to pay it back, do so. If you ever have the opportunity to pass on kindness in other forms - do so also. You are blessed to have good friends.

[shootingstar]

If she truly does have the funds (Some people are impulsive, they really are but cannot afford such 'giving' of money long-term.), accept the gift.

But go to the get-together with some food/dessert that you have made to share with others. Or other stuff that you can make in advance to share with others. Get DD involved to help out too.

or burn DVDs of digital photos for everyone.. that records the event.

I no longer assume that everyone is "rich" /has alot of funds their whole lifetime. Not anymore. Too much evidence, otherwise.

[uforgot]

I guess I'm in the minority here, but I don't think that giving or lending money with friends or family works very well. $400 is a lot and if you are uncomfortable with it, then don't. Even though it isn't anyone's intent right now, you are asking for trouble in the future. And can you comfortably accept the cash/trip and not feel like you owe them from now until forever? Not worth it.

[PamNY]

Limewave, I think it's fine to let your friend help you if you are fairly certain she can comfortably afford it.

I've both given and accepted help in my life, and it's generally a good thing. Pay it forward is good advice -- and I'm sure you already thought of that.

[salsabike]

Depends on the kind of friendship. If close, I would, since we would both know I'd return the favor, AND close friends really like to help when they see someone they love struggling. Letting someone give is good too.

[colby]

Depends on the kind of friendship. If close, I would, since we would both know I'd return the favor, AND close friends really like to help when they see someone they love struggling. Letting someone give is good too.

I'm with salsa. I have a couple of friends that I would do this for, and some I would just say "we'll miss you" for. I have friends that might offer this to me and I'd know it would come with strings attached that I couldn't bear, and others that I know would give selflessly (or somewhere inbetween ).

A guy at work was snowed in and unable to drive to see his baby girl's first Christmas with his wife and parents, and couldn't afford the plane ticket. I paid for it. It meant a lot to me to be able to give to him the gift of seeing his daughter. I didn't really give him the option to turn me down, though. I know he might not have the means do the same for me, but sometimes you need to stick your neck out and hope that they will pay it forward in kind, somehow.

It sounds like (and knowing you from your history here) your friend trusts that you will.

[shootingstar]

You are making the best decision for yourself limewave. Don't worry about it thereafter.

When things get better, the time will occur to have some fun.

If it was for food or shelter, it could be abit different.

[ClockworkOrange]

Twice this has happened to me.

When my best friend died she left me £250 (12 years ago). Could not refuse that one plus she wanted me to use it for a holiday, which I did.

Two years later, another friend wanted me to go on holiday with her and nothing to pay apart from spending money. My friend had been left some money from Eva Hart, at the time was one of the sole survivors from the Titanic, who I also knew, a really lovely lady.

I accepted and we both had fabulous time in Mykonos, Greece. We have been friends for over 40 years and despite no longer live near each other, chat weekly.

I guess it is nice to have good friends.

Clock

[bmccasland]

I would, but it would depend on the circumstances. I have certainly had the gift of time from friends - helping me move to a new town 100+ miles away - they packed me into my rental van, drove me to my new home, unpacked me, then drove back to their homes. I couldn't afford to pay their gas for the round trip, or buy them lunch, but they did it anyway. And in that same low economic period, when we'd go out to dinner (it was a large group thing), I'd be eating the "soup & salad special" or something equally low priced, because it was all I could afford, a steak dinner would show up for me. No-one would fess up to knowing who paid for the steak, but those were some of the best tasting steaks I've ever eaten.

[Biciclista]

i have a friend that i have considered buying an airplane ticket for so we could spend some time together. It won't happen otherwise. And that money? It doesn't matter. What DOES matter is how much fun we'd have together and the memories it would produce.

[Skierchickie]

I guess I'm in the minority - in a big way! I'd be extremely uncomfortable. I absolutely don't think there is anything wrong with it, and it is extremely generous of your friend. However, I'm just that kind of person, I suppose. If I had fallen on extremely hard times and needed the money for my mortgage or food, I would have to consider it, but I'm pretty positive that I wouldn't take it for something fun, however kind the offer was. I think my feeling on this is probably due to my parents, and the fact that they worked, worked, worked (farming), and rarely did anything for fun while I was growing up, especially if it cost money. We went on exactly 3 family vacations when I was a kid, and did that as inexpensively as possible. I never stayed in a motel until I traveled on the ski team in college.

People's definition of "necessity" varies. It's more about your gut feeling and the kind of friendship you have. In my case, I don't want to borrow money from anyone, even parents. After DH lost his job, his Dad offered to make some of our mortgage payments. I felt sick at the thought! We agreed that that would be a last resort. I do have to say that my DH is still drawing unemployment, and is going to school (career change). I am very uncomfortable with that, but he is following the rules of the program. We've had a few discussions.

More full disclosure - I'm a hermit, and don't have many close friends. This colors my outlook quite a bit. I'm just plain uncomfortable in social situations, especially with more than 1 or 2 other people. I can barely (and often bail out when the time approaches) make myself go to a Christmas or retirement party, let alone travel to socialize!

PLEASE remember that my response is based on my own, personal nature (weird as it is), and not a comment on whether I think it is right or wrong. It would be wrong for me.