Okay, today's shopping trip was actually a success! The store was Sylene of Washington, located in Chevy Chase, MD (just north of the DC border, near Mazza Gallery for those of you in the DC area).

I bought several of these:

http://www.sylenedc.com/detail.aspx?...&TopCategory=3

It's not exactly what I wanted, for the same reason I was hesitant about the Handfuls bras -- the band is very wide in back, and I would prefer something prettier. But the wide band makes it very comfortable and it has removable cookies to provide coverage and a little bit of shape. Under a thin t-shirt, it looks very smooth and pretty much invisible. Also it's very inexpensive. So it should work very well for everyday wear.

I can't find a brand for who makes them, although the woman at the store said they are not specific to that store. But if anyone wants to try them, you could order them online.

I got them in white, black, beige (which is slightly different -- no lace), gray and purple.

The woman at the store was very helpful. Unlike the last time I went to a (different) lingerie store, she did not try to convince me that I should wear a bra with underwires because the pain is all my imagination -- as soon as I started to say that I have never been able to find an underwire bra that didn't hurt, she said she could tell that was the case because I have a high rib cage. (And here I've just been describing my ribs as "weird" for all these years). She measured me as a 36, but did not argue when I tried one style in a 36 and it was too tight -- she could see it as well as I could feel it. She also was very good at emphasizing the positive things about my shape while acknowledging the hard-to-fit aspects -- unlike other stores where they act like there's just something wrong with me if I'm not happy with the size they think I should wear.

I also bought some extenders today, because Sylene had 2-hook extenders that are narrower than the ones I found at Victoria's Secret. And just for fun, I bought a pair of these:

http://www.sylenedc.com/detail.aspx?...&TopCategory=3

VPL is not a big issue with most of my clothes, but they could come in handy sometimes.

Another thing I tried today but didn't buy was these:

http://www.sylenedc.com/detail.aspx?...&TopCategory=3

I tried on one 38A bra that was pretty and fit across the back, but the cups were too big. We tried these cookies to fill things up better, but they didn't fill up enough for that particular bra. However, I might buy them to see if I can get some of my old bras to fit better.

This store also sells swimwear, so I might head up there someday to see if I can find a swimsuit that actually fits me. But I've spent enough money this weekend, so that adventure will have to wait...

BTW if anyone is looking for extenders in different sizes, these are the ones I was considering buying before my shopping trip today:

http://www.herroom.com/Braza-5000-Cl...xtenders.shtml

And there are also these:

http://www.herroom.com/Braza-5002-Br...tml?cm_vc=0201

Anyway, thanks again for all your comments and support (no pun intended...).