Going out with the gals

[shootingstar]

I had a pretty transient childhood where I went to 8 different schools by the time I graduated, so I am astounded when people still hang out with their friends from elementary school.

I've either moved away, or they have or circumstances changed in their lives (married, busy with kids), that I've had a huge hemorrhage of female friends over the past decade that I'm pretty much down to no good female friends that I hang out with on any regular basis. I do have a few very dear female friends but they're scattered around the world.

I also find it extremely difficult to make new friends with females my age (late 30's). They all seem to be content with their circle of friends that they don't seem to want to expand. Or just plain simply everyone's too busy living their lives that we don't "hang out" anymore.

I only have 1 friend from teenagehood amongst the closest other friends who have known me since my 20's.

Perhaps the older one gets, the more complex personal life experiences become that it's harder to articulate certain parts of core life experience/major life changes to a stranger who may not share the same experience at all. So establishing connection with other person at mid-life can take time or remains warm, but somewhat limited.

Yes, sure it's easier with women cyclists regardless of their cycling skill.

[PamNY]

Perhaps the older one gets, the more complex personal life experiences become that it's harder to articulate certain parts of core life experience/major life changes to a stranger who may not share the same experience at all. So establishing connection with other person at mid-life can take time or remains warm, but somewhat limited.

I think that is true. Making new friends at an older age is just different. There is so much to explain/understand. I think that is one reason friends with a shared special interest are appealing to me more now.

[salsabike]

I am still friendly with a bunch of the women I was friendly with in high school (and also some of the men). They are as smart and funny and interesting as they were then. They live mostly still on the East Coast, but we talk via email, FB, phone, and I go back there once or twice a year, and you bet we girls get together and have a blast.

I have some very good female friends here from work as well. Three or four of us meet once a month or so for coffee or dinner.

I have a half dozen very good friends, women, from the fiber art part of my life. We get together too.

I'm friendly with some women cyclists and triathletes. Ditto.

I like smart, strong, funny, sane women and I like to get together with them, singly or in groups. I like a bunch of similar-description guys too, although I don't get together with them as regularly.

[Crankin]

I have no friends left from my childhood, as I also moved away in HS. I did reconnect with one, when she saw my mom's obit in the paper, 15 years ago. She lives about 15 miles from me, but after getting together a few times, we have only spoken infrequently. When we reconnected, she had a 5 year old and I had teenagers. It's a shame, though.
I still am in contact with one close friend in AZ, and through her, I catch up on others. If I go back to visit, though, I fall right in with my old gang. However, I suspect if I lived there, I wouldn't see them so frequently, as they are not into sports and are pretty sedentary. Right now, I have 3 good female friends; 2 I have known for like 20 years, since I moved back here. One I can barely stand to be around... it's too long of a story to go into here, but I am easing out of seeing her. There are others I see occasionally, usually friends related to work, etc.
I guess that I am weird,in that I would rather spend my time with DH.

[Becky]

Not weird, Crankin. You sound just like me.

[Selkie]

Not weird, Crankin. You sound just like me.

Same here. I'm like both PamNY and Crankin (but unlike Crankin, I am no girlygirl --- I love that she led the boys around when she was a kid!!!). I'm an introvert, enjoy my own company, and would rather spend what free time I have w/my husband. I have a couple of female close friends at work, but we don't socialize outside of the office. Maybe when I retire, I'll expand my social horizons, but for now, I'm more than content.

I am anti-Drama. I'm not in competition with anyone but myself in that I'm trying to be a kinder, more tolerant person. I simply don't want others' drama/negativity in my life, and I haven't the patience for pettiness (probably because I've been burned by "good" friends in the past?). Regardless, I've found that social gatherings of more than two females inevitably evolves in snarkiness.

[Crankin]

Woa, Mickchick, I might have girly-girl things I like, but no one would categorize me as one...
Just setting the record straight.
How come I never meet anyone like the people on TE in real life???