Going out with the gals

[Catrin]

I had a pretty transient childhood where I went to 8 different schools by the time I graduated, so I am astounded when people still hang out with their friends from elementary school.

I've either moved away, or they have or circumstances changed in their lives (married, busy with kids), that I've had a huge hemorrhage of female friends over the past decade that I'm pretty much down to no good female friends that I hang out with on any regular basis. I do have a few very dear female friends but they're scattered around the world.

I also find it extremely difficult to make new friends with females my age (late 30's). They all seem to be content with their circle of friends that they don't seem to want to expand. Or just plain simply everyone's too busy living their lives that we don't "hang out" anymore.

Yep - I am the only "single" woman that I know at church, work, or elsewhere. Everyone is busy with their lives, and I've gotten used to doing things solo. I am starting to run across more people who like riding though, so am hoping to at least find some riding buddies.

It is also true that in larger gatherings I find myself talking with the men more than the women because the women seem to focus in their children, etc. Of course they are relating to those things they have in common - and I've no children and to make it worse, I have one of those techie jobs that makes peoples eyes glaze over when I try to explain what I do for a living I do have good friends, but they are scattered around the country.

We were quite mobile when I was growing up as well, and it is amazing to me that there are those who are still in contact/hang out with people they grew up with. It sounds very nice, amazing, but nice to be able to hang out with people who have known you through all of the changes of life.

[Crankin]

Tuckervill, I am not buying into that "your kid is better than mine," thing, although I know exactly what you speak of. As far as catching up, this is a woman I have no relationship with, except our kids went to Hebrew School together. My kids are fine, in my book... in fact they are pretty emotionally sane and as we always say "no one's in jail." I guess I would have liked it more if she had asked me what I was doing! You know, went back to school, switching careers, etc. She didn't even ask me if I was still teaching, although I did ask her about her job.
I live in an extremely competitive area in terms of academics and this stuff is commonplace. Mostly I shrug it off, but it gets old. It's more the "living through the kids" thing, which irks me. I didn't do it when my kids were little and I certainly don't do it now. I love them and we have a great relationship, but I don't get my identity from them.