For those of us middle-aged, read on.

[shootingstar]

As a side, is there anybody interested in reading about this 'neuroplasticity' stuff. I'm talking about the science of how we can train our brain to think positive, to visualize happy selves, to pump out endorphines instead of cortisol, it's heady stuff (pun intended) , but I am not interested in antidepressants . I feel active visualization and lots of exercize w/ healthier diet might be my only option for preventing total madness. I need to read the book again, it was difficult sciency read, and I dropped it in the middle. I would love it if some of you here joined me. "Evolve Your Brain" by Joe Dispenza, and/or "The Brain That Changes Itself " by Norman Doidge. There are likely dozens of books like this available, but these are good starters.

It's tough to reject the antidepressant option so that I can get out of anxiety, and instead to try to reach for something so far inside the core of my being.

For certain cycling almost every day, is a good start hermitgirl. It is for me or if the weather is crappy, I do some stretching exercises, etc. As well as eating mindfully and healthily. One can never go wrong here.

i also think brain health is related to trying to learn something new each year. It doesn't have to involve taking a course. And it helps one's social circles and family members are people who enjoy learning about new stuff too. So you can share that new-found stuff with one another.

[mhami]

Yikes, we are going from middle age to discussions of dying. That was fast. The only thing I think of is that I am 45 now and my DD is 13 and DS is 11. That means when they are 40 I will be in my 70's and that makes me sad. I would have liked to be younger when they are older, but I guess that would have meant having babies in my 20's and I had not met my DH then so that wouldn't have worked. I just wish that time would go slower. Hours, days, weeks, and years pass by so quickly.

[Crankin]

HermitGirl, the stuff you spoke about neuroplasticity is very appropriate. I am in a counseling psychology program that is holistically oriented; there are tons of things that one can do to change your thinking, hence your body's physical reactions. Visualization, meditation, yoga, and plain old exercise are some of the proven ways to do this, along with cognitive behavioral training. A lot of holistically oriented therapists are against CBT, but, in my (meager) experience, it allows you to take control of your thinking, or cognitive distortions, which is really the root cause of our reactions, such as anxiety. I am not against medication, either, as I have been working with chronically mentally ill people; but for many of us, using the things you describe really work.

[PamNY]

HermitGirl, the stuff you spoke about neuroplasticity is very appropriate. I am in a counseling psychology program that is holistically oriented; there are tons of things that one can do to change your thinking, hence your body's physical reactions. Visualization, meditation, yoga, and plain old exercise are some of the proven ways to do this, along with cognitive behavioral training. A lot of holistically oriented therapists are against CBT, but, in my (meager) experience, it allows you to take control of your thinking, or cognitive distortions, which is really the root cause of our reactions, such as anxiety. I am not against medication, either, as I have been working with chronically mentally ill people; but for many of us, using the things you describe really work.

Not to derail the thread, but can you tell me why holistically oriented therapists object to CBT? Are the two mutually exclusive? No biggie, I'm just curious.

I also think discussing neuroplasticity is very appropriate in this thread.

[HermitGirl]

"Cognitive distortions" are a perfect description for what is happening. I want to relax about life ~ hence the thread "how to age gracefully", can't you tell?

I instinctively think the answer lies within the miles of trails and road, and purifying my diet of course. Meditation in Movement. Also I'm struggling with creative visualization, it's difficult letting go of my tenacious hold on (my perception of) reality , and not let a counter thought process analysing the very thing I'm trying to visualize (because it's not real, yet), ~ but I think that in the cognative sense, that is an awesome tool.

[Crankin]

Pam, I think the issue with not liking CBT is more that it is often the only "official" therapy approved by insurance companies, going along with the movement toward "brief therapy," etc. I kind of see it as similar to the "phonics/whole language" debate in teaching literacy skills. As a teacher, I was quite capable of teaching "skills" in the context of a holistic program, based on whatever I thought the kids needed, not a scripted program. I think a lot of therapists object to what they think is a "scripted" program.
Personally, I see CBT as another tool for my clients to use, along with the other things. It's most often quite successful with motivated, insightful clients, who know what they want to work on. On the other hand, I do a fair amount of "interpersonal process therapy," i.e. talking, as well as teaching meditation and visualization skills.

[Brandi]

I believe not taking things as seriously as I used to makes a big difference in my life. And yoga has helped me to quite my brain. I do look in the mirror sometimes and think "wow what happened to my eye's" and then I laugh. My husband still love's the heck out of me and still thinks I am sexy so that helps too! Thinking positive about things to come is a good motto too.

[Norse]

I try to live by this motto:

Tomorrow may be too late.
Live, think and act for today.

I don't want to have any regrets, or at least, not too many, when the time comes.

[Zen]

I believe not taking things as seriously as I used to makes a big difference in my life.

Amen.

I don't care if I'm the oldest person in my class and I don't care if you like my painting. I'm having fun doing them and in doing so I'm practicing my own method of 'neuroplasticity'.

[marni]

My father used to say the secret to ageing gracefully were the following 7 things to do daily.

do something for yourself
do something for someone else
do something physical
do something mental
do something moral
do something you have been putting off
do something you have been looking forward to

works for me although I have to admit that most days I don't always manage all seven items.

marni

[Crankin]

I'm definitely in the "taking things not so seriously" camp now. I have been accused of being "too serious," a "fun hater," etc. Sometimes people ask me if I constantly worry about my son, who is in the military. When I say no, that it's not productive to do so, for myself or for him, they look astounded. I want to say, besides the fact that he is doing what he wants to do, I am too busy riding, running, etc. and generally having fun to focus on what "could" happen.

[Bike Chick]

My father used to say the secret to ageing gracefully were the following 7 things to do daily.

do something for yourself
do something for someone else
do something physical
do something mental
do something moral
do something you have been putting off
do something you have been looking forward to

works for me although I have to admit that most days I don't always manage all seven items.

marni

I like your father's way of thinking!

[Bike Chick]

Sometimes people ask me if I constantly worry about my son, who is in the military. When I say no, that it's not productive to do so, for myself or for him, they look astounded. I want to say, besides the fact that he is doing what he wants to do, I am too busy riding, running, etc. and generally having fun to focus on what "could" happen.

I understand, Crankin. If you focus on what "could" happen, it would be paralyzing. When my son was in Iraq I couldn't let myself go there. I rationalized it by thinking that his chances of being hurt were much higher when he was at home driving in a car.

[Crankin]

Exactly.

[AMP]

Hey All,
Like many of you I was an athletic kid, had much success riding, 5th woman in the Davis Double Century, TOSERV back in '79, '80 and '81. Road my bicycle across Mississippi from Vicksburg to Birmingham, Ala in '73.
By myself. And I grew up in NYC.

Then I "grew up." I'm 57 now. I stopped riding in '82 and just started again two weeks ago.

I lost my fancy job in this recession, gained weight and got blue, and one day six months ago found myself watching a sitcom in the afternoon and weeping for the imaginary characters. Hell, commercials made me cry! I looked at myself not so much not knowing who the woman was staring back with back fat and a turkey neck, but so much worse, I could in no way relate to the woman I had been. That beautiful child that I was in my twenties....that's the person who was foreign to me. I had completely and utterly lost myself.

I don't know why or how, but I joined a gym and slowly, slowly, the absolute worse in every class I took from yoga to spinning, I began to come back. I lost the 18 pounds I had gained, and bought a new bike. I think that's the grace part in aging gracefully, the magic part.

I can't say how, or it would take far too long, but over the years I became afraid of the world. I don't know things that others seem to grasp effortlessly. I live in an intellectual bubble and quote the classics. I can empty a room with, "...as Swinburne said..." I can't cut and paste without losing everything.

I feel sometimes like giving up. Even after I bought my bike, I'd wake up in a panic attack. Then I found TE. And reading all these posts. I have felt like a ghost haunting them. But I'm not a ghost, or a forgotten menopausal woman. I'm just a little late to the dance.