Mom in turmoil/Daughter in Trouble

[ACG]

In response to you all. THANK YOU. It felt really good to talk to someone about this. Painful very. Frustrating yes.

Yes I've been to therapy, still go.

Yes I have suggested therapy, many, many times. I'm going to try my best to get her to go. She doesn't have a lot of faith in therapists probably dates back to experiences years ago when she saw her dad/me in therapy and how it didn't work. He fired almost all of our therapists.

We have grounds for restraining orders and civil harassment orders. However, she has to be willing to file it. The 19 year old doesn't want to file one because she feels that the boyfriend will take it out on her older sister. I have spoken to my lawyer and will keep necssary records, I know what to look for, I can have one filed in 24 hours if needed. But again both daughters are adults, they have to file the order, not me. I did get my oldest to agree to put her cell phone on my plan. Now I will have records of the multiple texts and phone calls, should it be needed for later.

He knows he isn't welcome at my home.

My daughter is 26, an adult. She can't be forced into anything. She has admitted to the youngest that she can't believe she is with someone who is just like her dad. She admitted to me in an e-mail that she needs to leave him.

I can predict the boyfriends actions, what he'll do/say in response to any/most know what to look for. He knows this, he is afraid of me. He won't even look me in the eye. I do not put the boyfriend down to my daughter. I do not try to tell her what she is doing wrong.

I am in a very loving relationship with a man, a widower who has a 7 year old. We are raising her together. I now have another child to think of. My Honey sat my 26 year old down and had a talk with her. He is really concerned for her and said a lot of the things I've said, but coming from him it probably sounded different. He told me/her. The day I moved in here, you, your mom, your sister, became my family. He offered to help her move out, go to her place and take all of her personal items for her. He told her - We are going to help you, take care of you, but you have to look at yourself and figure out what is best for you. This made me cry. Again she wants to have a plan before she moves out. So frustrating.

I am tense every morning until I get a text from her saying, she is okay. Today we are meeting to pick out new glasses for her.

She knows I am going to have a talk with her, we are planning on Sunday night.

I am a very direct person. People know exactly how I feel about things, if they ask me. I don't lie and I don't play their games. I avoid toxic people.

This is a much taboo subject to many people. It happens it is out there.

I have a trip planned to Europe, with my girls in the summer for two weeks. I think this will be a great way for us to spend some time together and be away from everything.

Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers I am very overwhelmed by it. Audrey

[lph]

Audrey, I wish you were my mother.

[Selkie]

Audrey, I wish you were my mother.

Me, too. You sound like an incredible person---very strong and brave. Sending you lots of good karma....