Dear So and So

[pardes]

Dear Lady driving the car behind me:

And I use the term "lady" with reservation. Do you kiss people with the same mouth that shouted obscenities at me, "Granny get your !@#^&*& bike up on the sidewalk where you belong."

[malkin]

Dear Channel 4 News

Thank you for your coverage of important health issues in our community. The county has followed up regarding the reports of staph infection, however, we are unsure about how to treat the "staff infection."

Doesn't this mean that the staff should stay home?

http://www.abc4.com/content/news/slc...le7s2Mssw.cspx

[lph]

Dear friend, ex-friend now, I guess:

I don't know what sparked that last bout of unprovoked nastiness - jealousy, paranoia, a bad day at work or a sore back. You were behaving like a furious, unbalanced teenager. Maybe you were trying to trigger some kind of reaction from me, I don't know. I don't really care now either. All I want to do is get it established that no, I did not lie to you. I had no reason to, you had no reason to suspect me to, and just because your version of things doesn't jive with my version of things does not "prove" that I lied. This is real life, where it's not always easy to establish exactly what happened, it's not a spy story where the slightest discrepancy is suspicious and means that the other person is in fact your enemy.

What is killing me is how nasty you turned. Arguments are one thing, but you really want it to be me being a liar. I won't be able to forget that. At some point you may apologize. But I really can't trust you again. I wish I could because I really like you and you're a lot of fun at your best.

I don't if I'll be able to really "break up" properly. Maybe we'll just drift apart and not talk much after a while. Just a bit apathetic now. I'll go hug my cat again.

[redrhodie]

(((lph))) I have nothing useful to add. I'm not great at breaking up, either.

[lph]

Thanks, red.
I sure wish someone could teach me that trick of not caring, or just turning my head off and thinking about it tomorrow.

[malkin]

I put a note over my desk that says:

Perfecting the application of pure apathy

to help with stuff like that.

[limewave]

Dear 10-Minute Mile,

I regret to inform you that your employment with Limewave Corp. Running Division (LW) is terminated effective as of May 3, 2010.

You have been a valuable asset to our company and your termination in no way reflects that I am unhappy with your performance over the last five years. In fact, you have always been reliable and unwavering in your service to LW.

LW has reevaluated its goals and, unfortunately, your services are no longer needed. I have decided that 9:30 is a better fit with the future of LW. Although it is a riskier choice, it is one I that I feel necessary at this juncture.

I will keep your information on file and hope that you would consider part-time employment. There is a space open in the Recovery Department since 11:00 M/Mile has retired.

Thank you for your years of service.
Sincerely,
Limewave, CEO
Running Division