Guest's unfinished food-do you ask?

[Cataboo]

I do ask how spicy people like food before hand - I like a lot of spice, I like salt. Lots of people's digestive track can't handle that. And when in doubt, I just go very lightly on all spicy.

[Biciclista]

I might ask too, but I try to ask before the meal is served what sorts of things the person will or won't eat.
I don't like Asparagus, but if it's served to me, I just pile it on my husband's plate because he loves it and will eat a double portion.

[OakLeaf]

That's something I hadn't thought about - a one-dish meal makes it impossible for a guest to pick and choose. Cooking is so much easier when protein, vegetables and carbs are all part of the same big lump in my dish and that's how I almost always do it when it's just DH and myself.

We don't entertain often, but when we do, it's usually a casual meal same sort of thing. Spanakopita and falafel are two of my favorite "company" meals. I guess with falafel, they could at least assemble their own sandwich, or have the patty and toppings on a plate if they don't want any pita. (Had the neighbors over for falafel last night, nom nom. )

It's much easier to have two to four completely separate dishes when you're serving meat, I think. But something to think about.

[TsPoet]

This thread has been fascinating. Thanks for posting the question!
I'm not quite as polite - I usually announce what will be for dinner when I invite people - at least a category.
I'm very simple, though, when I invite people it'll be burgers and salad, or pizza ordered out (I do ask what toppings people want, then order whatever I want taking their desires under advisement), or meatloaf and potatoes... simple stuff.
I do like the separate dishes idea.

[DebW]

The title of this thread made me think that the question you ask your guest is "May I finish your leftovers?" It's always a shame to throw out good food.

[Sylvia]

When I invite people over, I usually will ask if there are any dietary restrictions. And I tell them that I have no problems if there are since I grew up in a family like this. My father is diabetic and my mother doesn't eat shell fish due to religious beliefs. I really have no problems if someone doesn't like certain foods or can't eat certain foods, but I ask in advance to try and make it easier for everyone.

[Cataboo]

I had 1 parent that grew up through all the wars in Vietnam and another who grew up through rationing during WWII in Britian - Both were pretty adamant that you did not waste food, you ate it to survive, and being picky was a luxury.

Now, judging from my thighs, I think I have some room for luxury now... And I waste too much food at times.

I'll confess to getting really aggravated with my sister & her 8 year old sometimes. My mother will make 4 different type meat dishes with rice and different vegetables all served buffet style, and the 8 year old will refuse to eat each one for various reasons, and my sister will say "okay, I'll take you to mcdonalds after we leave" or will go get a microwave pizza out of the freezer and cook it for the 8 year old. Generally, at least one of those meat dishes is something that my Mom's made for my little brother who won't eat anything vegetable so should be fine for the 8 year old as well - and another one is usually something she knows my sister's 8 year old likes, so it's not like my mother isn't making an effort. When someone decides to go out for fast food after leaving your house & not make a secret out of it, it's somewhat of a slap in the face.

[badger]

I haven't entertained in a while, but I usually have two ways, one is to announce in advance what is on the menu (thereby they can determine they want to eat it or not or tell me they have problems with it), and the other is potluck.

I've been to a party once where the menu was bouillabase (sp?). It was awaful because I hate shellfish and anything fishy, so I tried to eat a bit but it just wasn't going down all that well. The host felt horribly as well because she thought she was putting on a fantastic meal and I couldn't enjoy it.

[bcipam]

I
I'll confess to getting really aggravated with my sister & her 8 year old sometimes. My mother will make 4 different type meat dishes with rice and different vegetables all served buffet style, and the 8 year old will refuse to eat each one for various reasons, and my sister will say "okay, I'll take you to mcdonalds after we leave" or will go get a microwave pizza out of the freezer and cook it for the 8 year old. Generally, at least one of those meat dishes is something that my Mom's made for my little brother who won't eat anything vegetable so should be fine for the 8 year old as well - and another one is usually something she knows my sister's 8 year old likes, so it's not like my mother isn't making an effort. When someone decides to go out for fast food after leaving your house & not make a secret out of it, it's somewhat of a slap in the face.

OK that's a whole other issue - someone has control issues and someone knows how to push buttons - guess who is who?

My mother wasn't the greatest but what she taught me is how to be polite and gracious. If I don't like the food I sit quietly and do my best. As a parent I would never overindulge my child but instead use the situation as a learning tool. And using McDonalds as a bride or treat? Lordy not good for the child!!! The child should be told she can pick something off the menu at Mom's or wait until they get home and she can have cereal. I bet she picks something off mom's menu with that choice instead of McDonald's!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

My mother will make 4 different type meat dishes with rice and different vegetables all served buffet style, and the 8 year old will refuse to eat each one for various reasons, and my sister will say "okay, I'll take you to mcdonalds after we leave" or will go get a microwave pizza out of the freezer and cook it for the 8 year old.

Yikes. Don't even get me started on this subject! How not to raise a healthy and considerate human being.

[PamNY]

The title of this thread made me think that the question you ask your guest is "May I finish your leftovers?" It's always a shame to throw out good food.

I thought the same thing when I saw this thread. I was going to suggest waiting until the guest departs to polish off that chocolate cake.

Seriously, this is an interesting discussion. I'm vegetarian but I try really hard not to be a PITA.

[Zen]

The title of this thread made me think that the question you ask your guest is "May I finish your leftovers?" It's always a shame to throw out good food.

"You gonna eat that?"
My brain goes that way too

[badger]

I don't think you can blanketly say that picky eaters are a result of their upbringing.

My brother and I grew up in a mish-mash of cultures and was exposed to many different things. I usually liked to try different foods and surprised people when I liked things traditionally not liked by children (natto and salmon roe for starters).

My brother, on the other hand, was a PICKY eater. Didn't like this, didn't want to try that, etc etc. We couldn't be more different in terms of our tastes.

He did eventually "outgrow" his pickiness and he'll eat pretty much anything now. But he's got his payback; his elder daughter is just like he was and is super picky. I'd say in this case the pickiness is genetic!

[Cataboo]

You can't actually blanketly state anything about people in general. All stereotypes breakdown. I didn't mean to state it as an absolute vs. a trend.

[bcipam]

Generally - if having guests over, I ask if there are any food issues before I plan and shop for the meal. Personally I have alot of food allergies myself - I have no problem telling someone I can't eat onion, garlic, salt etc. but it's always nice if they ask me first.

That said, if I am a guest in someone's house and find the food not to my liking, I just politely leave it and not say a word other than thank you for the lovely meal. I would not want to embarass or upset the cook about making something I can't eat.

Unless you and I were really close, I would hate for you to ask "why didn't you eat everything on your plate?" Just assume she had her reasons and let it go. Next time, ask before the meal is cooked are there any likes or dislikes. Or just let it go... it's not that big a deal... I have friends who are terribly cooks. I don't go to their house for the food, I go for the company. The food is secondary.