Moms, childhood issues, and certified letters

[shootingstar]

See if you can get letter. If can't she can resend it.

Meanwhile your phone line should be open, unless she starts phoning at inconvenient hrs.

This sounds like a situation that might take several months, if not several years to change communication patterns. Hold your line firmly but find ways to express your love (because she's your mother. That's just reality.) that she can recognize immediately and is acceptable to both of you, without burning yourself out.

[lph]

hm. It sort of depends what she's asking. If she has a complicated, maybe upsetting to her, situation to explain, and then a question to ask that requires some thought to answer, I can understand her wanting to do it by letter. Not to be coy or manipulative, but just because some things are easier to do in writing. I find it especially hard to discuss complex emotions on the phone, because I feel that I'm only catching a fraction of what the person is trying to express when I can't see them.

On the other hand, she has to accept that by sending stuff certified (what's up with that, anyway?) in the mail she has to wait until you have the time and inclination to do something about it. She can't expect you to hop to it just because this is important to her right now.

I have a family full of people like this...

[redrhodie]

(((B))) I don't have anything to add, but I know it's hard dealing with a depressed person. Take care of yourself, and do what's best for you.