Sounds like you might need a bit of a break from riding. Kick back, and give yourself time to attend to all the things that have been weighing on you.

Sooner or later, hopefully, you'll have a clear(er) conscience and a renewed interest.

Like others have said, the hills (and the roads, and the trails) will still be there, they're not going anywhere.

Best of luck ! And sorry for your pup, that has to be hard.

- Jo.