Help! My ex BF bought me Christmas gifts!

**arielmoon** · 12-27-2009, 09:50 AM

Thanks for the great advice everyone! I will post an update when I make some progress with this.

**arielmoon** · 12-29-2009, 07:03 AM

We had a talk last night and he is going to try to find something ASAP but I told him the end of the month was good enough.

I feel so drained from dealing with this!

**Tri Girl** · 12-29-2009, 07:35 AM

Talking is NOT easy or comfortable sometimes, so I'm glad you did it. Hopefully he'll be gone soon and you can move forward- without him. Hugs to you!!

**Tuckervill** · 12-29-2009, 07:02 PM

Originally Posted by arielmoon

We had a talk last night and he is going to try to find something ASAP but I told him the end of the month was good enough.

I feel so drained from dealing with this!

End of the month is in two days! Did you mean January? Because that's a LONG time in a situation like this. Maybe he can couch-surf his friend's places until he gets something solid.

Karen

**arielmoon** · 12-30-2009, 05:42 AM

He has found a place and told me can be out by Jan 6th. It does leave me hanging a little bit financially but I dont want him to think I need him for anything so I told him it was good. Of course he was hoping I would ask him to stay and the resulting conversation had me up waay past my bed time.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel!!

**Tuckervill** · 12-30-2009, 08:03 AM

Whew! Hold him to it! What's half a mortgage payment to your peace of mind?

I have a few sons. They sometimes say "ya, I'm going to do that by Friday." and then don't do the actual preparation that I think is required to get "that" done (like packing? like doing your laundry? like acquiring a suitcase?). So, even though I try not to nag because men hate nagging, I do start to panic a little and end up asking how I can help get them prepared to get "that done by Friday." I think it's my right to do so, and you better keep on him until he does it. You could even offer to collect his stuff in a corner of the living room so he doesn't "forget" anything. Don't let him off the hook!

Karen

**arielmoon** · 12-30-2009, 09:35 AM

That is a great idea. I will not let him off the hook. I am going to do a great big happy dance and run around my apartment nakkie when his out the door!

thanks again!

Jennifer

**Irulan** · 12-30-2009, 09:45 AM

I dont want him to think I need him for anything so I told him it was good.

But you DO need him to kick in some money, right? Don't be a wuss, ask for it.Why are women so worried about not being "nice"?

**arielmoon** · 12-30-2009, 09:51 AM

Well if he owes me money and cant get the apartment then it's not worth the money. It would just be some of the utilities from this month.

**Maxxxie** · 12-30-2009, 12:27 PM

Originally Posted by Irulan

But you DO need him to kick in some money, right? Don't be a wuss, ask for it.Why are women so worried about not being "nice"?

Don't think of it as being nice. Think of it as paying some money to get rid of a nuisance in your life. You know, like hiring a pest control guy

Max

**tctrek** · 12-30-2009, 05:15 PM

Jennifer -- you're on the right track! Almost there! Hang tuff and don't let any excuses get in the way of the goal to have your privacy and your peace of mind back. After everything you've been through, you are doing great!!

Terri

**Tri Girl** · 12-30-2009, 05:44 PM

Originally Posted by arielmoon

I am going to do a great big happy dance and run around my apartment nakkie when his out the door!

yeah- don't do that before he leaves... you might NEVER get him out the door.

**lph** · 12-31-2009, 10:37 AM

You're doing GREAT! It's draining, for sure, but that is the price of making hard decisions. Plus you're forced to make some of his decisions for him, which isn't fair, but there you have it. Keep at it, it will all be worth it!

**ASammy1** · 01-04-2010, 01:12 PM

Jan 6 is only 2 days away! Any word arielmoon? We are here for support!

**arielmoon** · 01-06-2010, 06:47 AM

Well.... I did not back down all the way but I did back down some. He went so far as to sign a lease but when I got back from my trip we had a long talk about things. Financially it is better for both of us to have roommates especially when my job situation is looking very dire (I am going to start a new thread asking for advice about that!)

So I laid down what was acceptable for him to stay and what was not. No emo displays to get my attention and no sales pitches to get me back. No weekly roller coaster rides!

This is a trial period until the end of the month. He seems to have taken me seriously and so far, so good.

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