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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Western Canada-prairies, mountain & ocean
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    Teens as family caregivers

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    http://www.parentcentral.ca/parent/n...ble-population

    Glad they are getting support/knowing other like-oriented peers.
    My Personal blog on cycling & other favourite passions.
    遙知馬力日久見人心 Over a long distance, you learn about the strength of your horse; over a long period of time, you get to know what’s in a person’s heart.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    around Seattle, WA
    Posts
    3,238
    Reminds me of the young lady who was the more functional adult in the ER. The patient was a woman in her 40's who had overdosed, again, suicide attempt, and had a history of drug problems. The one who was being calm, cool, and collected was her teenage daughter. Fortunately our lead ER nurse saw through it and put the hospital social worker on both of them. The daughter needed to be given her life back, and quit being the responsible one for her mother's care.
    Beth

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Mrs. KnottedYet
    Posts
    9,152
    They are called "little adults" and not just teens, pre-teens ..... goes all the way back as far as you can through childhood. It's often one of the saddest consequences of addiction.
    Fancy Schmancy Custom Road bike ~ Mondonico Futura Legero
    Found on side of the road bike ~ Motobecane Mixte
    Gravel bike ~ Salsa Vaya
    Favorite bike ~ Soma Buena Vista mixte
    Folder ~ Brompton
    N+1 ~ My seat on the Rover recumbent tandem
    https://www.instagram.com/pugsley_adventuredog/

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    94
    This can also be a struggle for families (in the US, anyway) in which the parents do not speak English, but the children do.

    Hospitals often don't have the funding/staffing to always have translators available, sometimes leaving children as the only translators available in tight situations.

    A colleague of mine has struggled with this tremendously.....

    Needing to get permission for an emergency surgery from someone who doesn't speak English, no translators available, and having to have an 8 year old kid translate about a life-threatening surgery and the seriousness of an illness that their mom has...not ideal.


    Having to tell a parent they have cancer through a 13 year old. Not ideal.


    So difficult! My heart goes out to the struggles of these children and families.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Western Canada-prairies, mountain & ocean
    Posts
    6,984
    Quote Originally Posted by Onix View Post
    This can also be a struggle for families (in the US, anyway) in which the parents do not speak English, but the children do.

    Hospitals often don't have the funding/staffing to always have translators available, sometimes leaving children as the only translators available in tight situations.

    A colleague of mine has struggled with this tremendously.....

    Needing to get permission for an emergency surgery from someone who doesn't speak English, no translators available, and having to have an 8 year old kid translate about a life-threatening surgery and the seriousness of an illness that their mom has...not ideal.


    Having to tell a parent they have cancer through a 13 year old. Not ideal.
    That is very hard to burden a child as being messenger of such life-threatening news.

    Can relate well from my own upbringing, but at least never that! I was delegated de facto adult roles for a few min. by interpeting in English for my mother when father was away from house at work. It occurred whenever mother needed help when answering phone or in a store..not all the time. Or explaining to doctor over phone in English, about a sick sibling on behalf for my mother..I was in my early teens. About 12 yrs. and up. Happened several times.

    I did babysit younger siblings without any adult around, starting from age 11 or so. Remember there were 4 other sibs younger than I in the house, with the 5th child (whoever mom selected /how willing child was) to accompany her to store to carry groceries, etc. Some real babysitting always happened several times per week.

    Not all children can become this responsible but this is reality.. when there is no money to pay babysitter nor did my parents truly trust others since they didn't know other people well enough close by.

    So those Third World photos of an 9-yr. old lugging around or trying to get a 3 yr. old baby sibling to behave...... well, yes of course I did that occasionally or probably more often than I realize. At that age, looking after others, was blended in with playing with siblings to distract them and keep them quiet. But it was real, I was expected to behave and be a role model. (very onerous for any child)

    How else can a mama do her housework with so many children around? Of course, helping little sibs toilet train, scraping the poop from cloth diapers, etc.

    There were times in my teens, I did feel isolated and resigned that most my buddy friends were having far more care-free lives than I.

    The good thing was that parents gave child appropriate tasks to be completed in a child-appropriate pace. I know some people won't agree with me here: but what you would have done in my parent's shoes?

    At least I was allowed time to dream, read alot (and become a bookworm), write poetry and dabble art. Oh yea, I forgot, occasionally escape on the bike for an hr.! (Shared a bike with 4 other sisters. Baby sister too little, too young for big bike.)

    Whatever happens, it is so important for a child / teen to have their own private time, to engage in safe fun activities throughout the week.
    Last edited by shootingstar; 12-09-2009 at 04:58 PM.
    My Personal blog on cycling & other favourite passions.
    遙知馬力日久見人心 Over a long distance, you learn about the strength of your horse; over a long period of time, you get to know what’s in a person’s heart.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Reporting from Moonshine Mountain
    Posts
    1,327
    I have seen this as well. Nothing life-threatening, but young children coming with non-English speaking parents in order to translate for applications, answering questions about our program, or even to help with intake. These children take on an enormous responsibility at times.
    "When I'm on my bike I forget about things like age. I just have fun." Kathy Sessler

    2006 Independent Fabrication Custom Ti Crown Jewel (Road, though she has been known to go just about anywhere)/Specialized Jett

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Uncanny Valley
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    14,498
    Quote Originally Posted by Trek420 View Post
    They are called "little adults" and not just teens, pre-teens ..... goes all the way back as far as you can through childhood. It's often one of the saddest consequences of addiction.
    Not just addiction, but many kinds of mental illness and child/spousal abuse.
    Speed comes from what you put behind you. - Judi Ketteler

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Mrs. KnottedYet
    Posts
    9,152
    An old friend has a daughter in recovery. When she and DH got sober one of the hardest things to do was to give childhood back to her eldest. This kid had to be the parent for a younger brother. It was a constant battle of "Now go be a kid, we are the adults now. No, really. We mean it".
    Fancy Schmancy Custom Road bike ~ Mondonico Futura Legero
    Found on side of the road bike ~ Motobecane Mixte
    Gravel bike ~ Salsa Vaya
    Favorite bike ~ Soma Buena Vista mixte
    Folder ~ Brompton
    N+1 ~ My seat on the Rover recumbent tandem
    https://www.instagram.com/pugsley_adventuredog/

 

 

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