Teens as family caregivers

[shootingstar]

This can also be a struggle for families (in the US, anyway) in which the parents do not speak English, but the children do.

Hospitals often don't have the funding/staffing to always have translators available, sometimes leaving children as the only translators available in tight situations.

A colleague of mine has struggled with this tremendously.....

Needing to get permission for an emergency surgery from someone who doesn't speak English, no translators available, and having to have an 8 year old kid translate about a life-threatening surgery and the seriousness of an illness that their mom has...not ideal.


Having to tell a parent they have cancer through a 13 year old. Not ideal.

That is very hard to burden a child as being messenger of such life-threatening news.

Can relate well from my own upbringing, but at least never that! I was delegated de facto adult roles for a few min. by interpeting in English for my mother when father was away from house at work. It occurred whenever mother needed help when answering phone or in a store..not all the time. Or explaining to doctor over phone in English, about a sick sibling on behalf for my mother..I was in my early teens. About 12 yrs. and up. Happened several times.

I did babysit younger siblings without any adult around, starting from age 11 or so. Remember there were 4 other sibs younger than I in the house, with the 5th child (whoever mom selected /how willing child was) to accompany her to store to carry groceries, etc. Some real babysitting always happened several times per week.

Not all children can become this responsible but this is reality.. when there is no money to pay babysitter nor did my parents truly trust others since they didn't know other people well enough close by.

So those Third World photos of an 9-yr. old lugging around or trying to get a 3 yr. old baby sibling to behave...... well, yes of course I did that occasionally or probably more often than I realize. At that age, looking after others, was blended in with playing with siblings to distract them and keep them quiet. But it was real, I was expected to behave and be a role model. (very onerous for any child)

How else can a mama do her housework with so many children around? Of course, helping little sibs toilet train, scraping the poop from cloth diapers, etc.

There were times in my teens, I did feel isolated and resigned that most my buddy friends were having far more care-free lives than I.

The good thing was that parents gave child appropriate tasks to be completed in a child-appropriate pace. I know some people won't agree with me here: but what you would have done in my parent's shoes?

At least I was allowed time to dream, read alot (and become a bookworm), write poetry and dabble art. Oh yea, I forgot, occasionally escape on the bike for an hr.! (Shared a bike with 4 other sisters. Baby sister too little, too young for big bike.)

Whatever happens, it is so important for a child / teen to have their own private time, to engage in safe fun activities throughout the week.