My best friend in Wyoming adopted 2 sets of sibling Russian children. What with fetal alcohol syndrome, oppositional-defiance, reactive-attachment disorder, sexual abuse issues and learning disabilities, their lives were chaos. I didn't realize until then that there are some early damages that cannot be undone, regardless of love and parenting. It tore up their marriage. I'm not exactly sure where she (my friend) is now. It all got to be too much for her. I suspect that there are lots of people in the same situation as you. I know that internet support groups aren't the same as being in the same room as others, but there are probably some decent ones out there. Counseling is also a good suggestion. I hope you are able to find some assistance in dealing with this.

Big hugs,
Deb