Dear So and So

[Selkie]

Twenty-something girl -

You need to familiarize yourself with the rules about swimming in a crowded pool. Neither I nor the elderly gent with whom I was splitting a lane appreciated your joining us without letting us know. You almost swam into the gent, and your excuse that "I saw him" doesn't wash, sweetie. The guy is in his late 70s or early 80s. Before you join people in lane, you need to let EVERY PERSON IN THE LANE know and ask if we can circle swim. You didn't say boo to either of us.

Yes, I gave you a very loud azz chewing which attracted a lot of attention, which you deserved, particularly when you started arguing with me, acting like you knew what you were doing (trust me, you didn't). The IPOD you were wearing did not help matters, particularly since you kept passing me and the older man without letting us know.

I wasn't surprised that you unilaterally decided that we would split the lane after the old guy gave up and got out of the pool. I've never seen you before and I hope to never encounter you again. That said, if you ever ever try to get in my lane again, I will politely suggest you swim in a medium lane. If you ever act unsafely again, I will go to the pool manager so he can deal with you.

You are too fast for the slow lane. You are rude and unsafe. Karma, of course, will "reward" you for the disrespectful way you treat others. It's not all about you, sweetheart.