Dear propane company,

We checked the gauge last week and it was at 13%. I don't know why you don't let us re-order until it's below 10%, and I don't know why it's below 0% now. We haven't been using that much propane.

I know it's good for me to HTFU and take sponge baths and wash my hair in 50° water like I did when I was a kid.

But I'm running out of wool. I don't mind wearing the same wool piece around the house for three or four days in a row, but I'd just as rather wear something clean when I go out.

So please hurry, okay?

Signed,

Wool Weenie

PS - Try not to wind up in the moat again. It's embarrassing for you to have to call your boss for a tow, and it's a PITA for us.