When I first saw this thread, I thought you were talking about Lorelei. I just read your previous post and saw that this is about another niece and that Lorelei is fine. I am sorry to hear about Emily, but I am glad to learn that Lorelei is doing well. http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?t=34751

To answer the query in this post, donate what you feel is appropriate, balancing the financial needs of the extended family with your own. I am sure that anything you can do will be appreciated.