I'm so very sorry to hear about your niece--what a tragic loss.

For giving to charity, I tend to be of the mindset that I want to give enough so that *I* miss the money a bit if it's a cause I really support. For friends raising money for causes they support, I might just give a token amount, but for the things closest to my heart, I give till it hurts, a little. I don't want to impoverish myself, but if it makes me plan meals differently for a while, or have to put off making some purchases I had planned, then that's the right amount for me.

Sarah