competitive SOs...(long)

[Owlie]

I love him dearly, but if there's a bike involved...gah!

I will admit that he's gotten a lot better as a riding partner (he's stopped trying to coach me, but gives advise if asked and encouragement as necessary). I've been toying with the idea of buying a second road bike--a "Go. Fast." bike. This is at least 6 months, if not a year, away. There's a Cannondale I've been drooling over. Here's the thing: It's comparable to his Cannondale. I talked to him about it, and tried to steer me toward one of the cheaper versions. My preference for that particular bike is not set in stone. I may try it out at the LBS and hate it. Or I may fall in love with something else. Or finances may change. Who knows? I asked him why he'd recommend the cheaper bike (other than cost), and he really couldn't give me an answer.

I've also told him I've thought about going straight from platform pedals to clipless. I don't want to deal with two learning curves, and I think I'd get my foot caught in the straps of toe cages. He thinks I really should use the toe cages first.

It seems like anything related to upgrading--whether it's my riding, the pedals or the bike--should be done the way he did it, and later. He's only pushy about his way of doing things when it comes to bikes. He nudged me toward the Avail (it's the girly version of his first road bike). That's fine, because I knew diddly about bikes at the time, and the bike suits me pretty well. The pedals, I can understand. Safety and all that. I can't figure out why he feels the way he does about the Cannondale, though. Is he feeling threatened in some way by the fact that I'm looking at something on par with his bike? Is he thinking "she's getting herself into some kind of shape. She must be planning on leaving"? Or something I'm not thinking of?

I'd be grateful if anyone could offer some insight.

[shootingstar]

I love him dearly, but if there's a bike involved...gah!

I will admit that he's gotten a lot better as a riding partner (he's stopped trying to coach me, but gives advise if asked and encouragement as necessary). ..............................................................................................................It seems like anything related to upgrading--whether it's my riding, the pedals or the bike--should be done the way he did it, and later. He's only pushy about his way of doing things when it comes to bikes. He nudged me toward the Avail (it's the girly version of his first road bike). That's fine, because I knew diddly about bikes at the time, and the bike suits me pretty well. The pedals, I can understand. Safety and all that. I can't figure out why he feels the way he does about the Cannondale, though. Is he feeling threatened in some way by the fact that I'm looking at something on par with his bike? Is he thinking "she's getting herself into some kind of shape. She must be planning on leaving"? Or something I'm not thinking of?

I'd be grateful if anyone could offer some insight.

Maybe I have imperfect memory, but it seems this is the 2nd time you've mentioned about your bike-competitive SO?

Anyway, just focus on getting a quality bike that is not too off your budget and that fits you. His advice is only the advice of 1 person, not several experienced folks, including LBS. Take your time. Clear your head several times if you need to. In the end, you may need to do this bike hunt alone. It will be your bike, not a shared bike between him and you.

Ride some bikes before you lay down your money.

[smilingcat]

Don't bother with toe clips/cages. They are not as safe as clipless IMO. Besides where are you going to get a cage? and the cleats for the cage? Don't know if you can even get a such a thing...

Go with a clipless. Some are not that expensive and do a descent job. Time, Look, Speedplay...

Get the bike you want. you'll be happier and more content. And in the long run, it will be cheaper.

[VeloVT]

Is he an oldest sibling, by any chance? (I don't mean *your* oldest sibling of course , but the oldest of the children in his family).

My sister (there are two of us, she is the older one) is this way. I will like something different than what she likes, and she will be convinced that I just don't know what I'm about, and then later, when she discovers what I had liked, she's 100% all about it. At one point she decided to give me ski pants for my birthday (she was working in advertising at a ski resort and got big whatever you call it direct discounts from certain companies). She asked me to let her know if there was a certain pair I liked. I went to the North Face store in town and found a pair I really liked, and told her. She decided they weren't what I really wanted and got me the same pair she had (which were more expensive, she wasn't being cheap). Then a few months later we were in the store together and I tried on the pair I had liked and she wanted a pair.

Recently I was thinking about getting my chin length bob chopped off into a short cut. (For a long time she had short hair and recently grew it out into a chin length bob). I mentioned this in a conversation and before I had even finished saying it she was shaking her head like it would be a mistake. Of course, whatever she's doing at the moment is the right thing to do.

I used to take it personally, but it's really not personal at all. I used to think sometimes that she was being judgmental or competitive (in other circumstances related but slightly different to the ones I've described), but I realize now she wasn't, she's just used to being the "first" and having me follow, and has a hard time accepting other patterns.

[VeloVT]

As for toeclips -- why? What is his rationale? I went from a bike with toeclips that I never tightened down properly to clipless pedals, which I think is pretty analogous to what you'd like to do, and while there was definitely a steep learning curve for me, I doubt it would have been improved by an intermediate stage of tightening down my toe straps. I say you should go for it.

[Bike Chick]

Get what you want to get and do what you want to do. It's your bike and your money. Been there--done that with cycling and with golf...........And don't ask for his opinion if you don't want it. I have already made up my mind on something and then asked his opinion before committing to it and regretted it. If it's the bike you want, get it and going clipless is much nicer than flat pedals.

[indysteel]

I'd suggest talking to him about it one more time, and if he still can't or won't offer any insight into why he seems to be steering you away from what you really want, then I'd stop asking for his opinion about your bike(s) to the extent you can. I realize that may not be realistic when it comes to finances, but I'd otherwise just do want you want. If you need somebody else's advice, seek it out here and/or on the variety of other bike forums out there. Or ask for his opinion and accept it or reject it as you see fit. I'd agree that you shouldn't take it personally. There may be something driving him that has nothing to do with you, i.e., some insecurity or anxiety. I'd try to tune it out as best you can.

Good luck!

And for what it's worth, I'd skip the cages, too, if that's what you want to do. I went straight into clipless, and frankly, the learning curve isn't that bad. After a couple of rides with them, you'll get the hang of it. I actually think cages look harder to use.