Balancing life activities

[shootingstar]

We've never had takeout since I've been with dearie. Where we have lived since we've known each other, has been always close to restaurants, cafes. So it made more sense for us to eat out in the restaurant itself and often pay same price as takeout food, but have the restaurant staff do serving and clean up dishes instead.

For cost-savings reasons we only eat out once a week for dinner in our home town at places for $10-15 per person.

Our home isn't super clean, just organized to keep us happy, efficient and clean. We do a massive clean job only occasionally, I admit. We do laundry about every 2-3 wks. Unlike some people, I wear a shirt or pants several times before throwing it in wash.

Earlier in this post, I commented how rarely I do fashion shopping. Well it's just grocery shopping and going to drugstore for toilerties that I appreciate.

[indigoiis]

My DH is very old fashioned / homebody about food. I suppose it is because he was a bachelor for most of his adult life. We grocery shop together (with a list) on the weekend, alternating weeks to pay. We try to buy all the food for dinners for the week. We'll cook something like a chicken early in the week when my (vegetarian) daugher is at her Dad's - that will last three nights in different forms. Or he'll make a killer meatloaf which goes two nights. On vegetarian nights my daughter will cook or I will make a quick stir-fry. But it sure does save time to have everything on hand.
We sit down to dinner as well and try to eat before or at 7:30 because we all go to bed at nine!

I'll make my lunch from leftovers and get my bike bag or other gear ready
before bed.

Routines are key. And if you have kids, delegate stuff for them to do! My kid hates the barn chores so I make her do the dogs and run a load of dishes (we have no dishwasher) when she's at our house.

Here's the big thing:
Don't stress if you can't do it all. Schedules are just suggestions. Sometimes an impromptu trip to the ice cream shack is in order. Or a late night walk without lights with the dogs. Or sitting with your kid while she goes through a hormonal mini breakdown. All more important than getting in that 5 mile run!

[GulfCoastAmy]

Can you cycle early in the morning before work, or extend your commute? Truthfully, my nights sound an awful lot like yours, but at least I have already gotten my ride in for the day.

[Crankin]

Indi, your attitude sounds like my house! My DH and I go grocery shopping together a lot of the time and we laugh that we are the "old people" in the store.
I notice that a lot of people eat the same meal a couple of nights in a row. I couldn't do that! Although I do bring leftovers for lunch at times.
And sometimes, as we say, we decide to "be regular people" and sit on the deck and drink wine instead of going for a ride.

[tulip]

Funny, I was in a workshop today (to get required continuing education credits for a professional credential) and I ended up working up several "schedule scenarios" to try to fit in all that I want and need to do. No, that was not part of the workshop agenda!

I don't want to come up with some schedule that I can't keep and then feel like a failure for not being able to stick to it. So I'm trying to be realistic in balancing it all. There's work, can't let that drop because I need to eat and pay my bills. Then there's cycling, and I'm trying to do MORE of that and not less...there's my house projects, which I only do on the weekends, and then there's my garden, which is my salvation and my peace, so I'm not going to give that up. Oh, and I do have to take my dog out for two long walks per day or he goes apesh-t. And since he's a border collie, I also should teach him a new trick every week and work on it for 15 minutes per day to keep his mind occupied...how about the trick of making me dinner? But I wouldn't give him up.

There's the cleaning and the cooking and the shopping. I love to cook, and you gotta shop if you're going to cook. I don't particularly like cleaning but I do like having a clean and neat house. A house cleaner is not currently in the budget, so I have to do it myself.

Then there are the things that I want to do: play my music, knit, keep up with my French, learn Spanish, and a few other interests.

My solution is to do what's important every day (work, eat well, exercise, walk the dog) and the rest I fit in during the week. Yes, it would be best for my music if I practiced every day, but it ain't happening and I'm not a pro so that's okay. Same for the languages. Sometimes my house is messy. Sometimes my laundry doesn't get folded.

I've come to realize that I don't have to be perfect at everything. It only took 42 years!

[tc1]

Lessee, 2 adults, both work full time, 1 german shorthaired pointer. Like Tulip's dog, our dog needs two walks a day.

First off, housework is last priority. Thankfully mom refused to instill in us girls that our worth was tied to how well we kept house, so I don't feel bad when it gets cruddy. It gets clean eventually. Interestingly enough the boyfriend had more trouble with the messy house, but he never tried the it's woman's work crap with me. We have never hired someone to come in; we would love to but never found anyone we could trust to handle a big dog and not let the dog out to get run over. The yard work is hired out, and they do a crummy job but I live with it.

Meals have always been a sore point with us. I cook from scratch, he won't unless forced, which is funny because he is actually a great cook. So we eat way more takeout than we should, which leads to other problems. Sometimes on the weekend I will make something to last a few days, then have it during the week, but I also can't stand to eat the same thing 2 meals, or even 2 days, in a row.

So I guess my priority is first the dog, because he is relatively powerless and our responsibility. BF walks him in the morning, I do in the afternoon. Then household stuff that has to be done, like paying bills or emptying the trash. Then getting up and going to work 40 hours/week, because that makes all the rest of life possible.

Whatever time is left I read, ride the bike, watch too much news online and on TV and in the paper (always a struggle to keep my news addiction under control) attempt to learn the guitar, ski, walk another dog 3X weekly for volunteer work, and my latest, learn how to track with the pointer. I have pretty much given up gardening, though I may get back into it. Ya just can't do it all at once.

[GLC1968]

My solution is to do what's important every day (work, eat well, exercise, walk the dog) and the rest I fit in during the week.

In theory, this makes sense. The problem arises when the things we have to do every day don't fit into a day. Then these tasks flow into the weekend. Then you repeat this for months on end and things not only start to fall apart, but so does the human. How many months can one person go without doing the 'fun' stuff? I love to read, to bead, to fix things, to shop, to hang out with friends, to sight-see, to travel...but who has time for all that? I don't. I try to convince myself that taking a few hours off on the weekend to bike with other people in places we haven't biked before counts as 'travel' and 'hanging with friends'...but in reality, it's not always enough.

And before anyone suggests that some of the other stuff can wait - tell me how I explain to our goats that they don't get to eat tonight because there's this book that I really want to read, hmmmm?

I blame my parents. They always told me I could do anything I set my mind to and I believed them. What they apparently failed to teach me is that I can't do it all AT ONCE.

[tulip]

GLC, you are the exception. If I had to do all that you have taken on, I'd need every day to be 48 hours long.

Any chance one of you can cut down on the work hours, since running a farm IS work?

[GLC1968]

GLC, you are the exception. If I had to do all that you have taken on, I'd need every day to be 48 hours long.

Any chance one of you can cut down on the work hours, since running a farm IS work?

I wish. We are working very hard to eliminate all debt, but our mortgage is the scary one. Until we've got that under control, I don't see how either of us could cut back. It's unfortunate that farming doesn't pay anywhere near what engineering pays. It's also unfortunate that we moved while the market was still strong in this area and had to pay as much for our home/land as we did.

Eh...we'll figure it out! I just hope it's before we are both too old to enjoy life!

[tribogota]

Plus One on NY Biker,
maybe I have no life, cook, train, work...but boy would I trade the time I have to train for a family or a partner.
Balance is actually having "most of it", and that "struggle" is worth it if it is balancing great things. I would say that I don't have to worry about balancing, cause there is no balance in my life, just me, training and working.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I wanted to write a thoughtful long post about all this today, but I was too busy doing two patent drawing jobs, harvesting veggies from the garden, giving banjo lessons, cooking, reading my new books about beekeeping, mending clothes, paying bills, solving issues on my online music community/forum, visiting with my daughter on the phone, doing the laundry,....

[GLC1968]

Balance is actually having "most of it", and that "struggle" is worth it if it is balancing great things.

Can I just say that this really struck a chord with me?! You are so right about this and I really need to change my attitude. I've been having a really tough week and plodding through all the things I have to do AND the things I love to do with barely a difference between them.

Yes, my life is the definition of unmanageable....but I chose this life. I could easily manage my time better if I gave up some stuff but the fact of the matter is that the things I could give up are the things that give me the most joy and I will continue to struggle if it means that I continue to get to do these things (cycling included).

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I needed this today.

[aeiea]

I wanted to write a thoughtful long post about all this today, but I was too busy doing ....

LOL!!

I was in the middle of a thoughtful long post, but I got caught up with other tasks that I forgot I had this window open for half of the day.

So back to what I was writing ... OP, someone mentioned adding more travel to your commute. Thumbs up here, even if it means taking the long way or doing a loops. I took the longer, more scenic, less trafficy route at my old job, which made it all the more pleasant.

Also, since your bike is at work, why not take it out for lunch, bike around, and then just eat at your desk if you're allowed?

There are creative ways to kill two birds with one stone. Last night I did yoga while defragmenting my hard drive. Danced while doing the dishes (read: dangerous).

The best thing for me is to just drop something -- re-prioritize. Like Tulip, I no longer get to practice my instruments as much (though I practice singing in the car). I read less but listen to audio books more. I spend less time cooking and more time shopping at the farmer's market for fresh and simple ingredients.

Cool discussion topic.

[emily_in_nc]

As much as I enjoy being online and the friendships I've made, maintained, or re-kindled online, I must admit (and I am sure a lot of you would agree) that I had a lot more "free" time back in the pre-internet days. I read many, many fewer books now and do much less (almost no) crafts. Fortunately, I do still find time to work out - mostly during my work day (gym at lunchtime, yoga and Pilates classes free through the work gym too) and on weekends; but my DH does the majority of the cooking and chores (he's retired). But he doesn't dust and doesn't do a lot of cleaning I think should be done, and won't go for the cleaning lady idea, so I still have to do that stuff if I want it done. Often I just let it go until we have company coming, and then go crazy cleaning...kinda stressful!

I honestly don't know how we managed when we were both working. Of course, we didn't do internet (or very little - dial-up days!) then. We don't even have children, but have always had at least one dog and many hobbies. We have a 30' sailboat at the coast now and spend a lot of time doing boat projects even when we're not there.

It is hard finding time for everything, and that's one of the main reasons I only manage to ride twice a week -- a mountain bike ride after work with a friend once a week, and a longer weekend road ride with DH. But that's okay too -- I like the variety of doing a lot of different things.

I can't even imagine trying to work full-time and have a farm too, like GLC. Farming is a full-time job as it is! No wonder you're feeling a bit overloaded...

[Owlie]

I'm still in college, so my balancing is in a different place from most of yours. The cycling gets done on the weekends and Monday mornings. I have fencing practices twice a week in the evenings, but that occasionally has to give if I have a lot of work to do. Classes or lab work take up most of the day, then I come home and cook in the evening. I try to cook mostly on weekends, but I still haven't learned that what would last my family maybe three days lasts us two--BF eats about twice as much as I do. Oh, then I have homework and studying to do. Somehow I make it work.