Quote Originally Posted by Andrea View Post
even if you get good counseling and you "fix" every aspect of your relationship and have a wonderful & happy home, a cheater will always be tempted to cheat... it's almost like a type of addiction. (I'm assuming that even if he's never actually cheated that posting something on a swingers site probably means he'd be willing to)
I have nothing to add to the good advice others have given like2bike2, but I have to comment on that, because I don't think it's accurate.

I cheated on my first husband. I'm not proud of it, but there it is. It was a symptom, not a cause, of the many things that were wrong with our marriage, but my acting on those feelings obviously didn't help anything.

In 15 years I've never once felt an impulse to cheat on my present husband.

Healthy individuals in a healthy relationship will not "cheat" (agreeing to an open relationship is something different). Adultery is NOT an "addiction," and even if it were, addicts can and do get clean when they have a relationship they value more than their junk.

Like2bike2, I hope that you find a resolution that heals your heart and makes you feel valuable to yourself.