Shootingstar, I don't find the cause of death surprising at all. The reasons for this have been well stated, so I won't repeat.

It's perfectly natural to wonder and be curious, but I think that expressing condolences and avoiding questions is the best course unless you know the survivors very well. If you have happy memories of the deceased, share those as well.

Death brings up so many things (our own mortality, for example) that I don't much worry about whatever thoughts pass through my head, but I try to be careful what I say. It's a fine line; sometimes people want to talk about the details, sometimes they don't.

My sympathies on your loss.

Pam