Bad husband! No nookie!

[Biciclista]

just one thing:
you said:

"I hollered after him and told him to go on and I would walk home. 'are you sure?' 'ya, ya, go finish the ride'. "

now if this had been a conversation between my DH and I, he would have believed that I really wanted to walk home and would NOT have expected to pick me up in a car... the fact that you took your shoes off and got blisters is unfortunate, but it's not really his fault; you told him to go on..

[arielmoon]

(((Tuckervill))) I feel your pain.

(((limewave))) I feel you there too.

I think I stumbled into the right thread Men are dense.

[Cataboo]

++++ on the hugs to both Limewave & tuckervill.

just one thing:
you said:

"I hollered after him and told him to go on and I would walk home. 'are you sure?' 'ya, ya, go finish the ride'. "

now if this had been a conversation between my DH and I, he would have believed that I really wanted to walk home and would NOT have expected to pick me up in a car... the fact that you took your shoes off and got blisters is unfortunate, but it's not really his fault; you told him to go on..

I'm not sure why he didn't stop and change her innertube if they had supplies with them. It really only takes 5 minutes if that.

But common courtesy/concern would have had him at least call/text to see where she was and if she was all right when he didn't find her at home when he got back... especially when he knew she'd been trying for a couple days to get that tire on previously... the chances of her being able to do it on her own and leave to bike again a day or so after she spent a few days trying to get a tire on were kind of slim.

[Biciclista]

++++ on the hugs to both Limewave & tuckervill.


But common courtesy/concern would have had him at least call/text to see where she was and if she was all right when he didn't find her at home when he got back... especially when he knew she'd been trying for a couple days to get that tire on previously... the chances of her being able to do it on her own and leave to bike again a day or so after she spent a few days trying to get a tire on were kind of slim.

At that point, sounds like he was just coming up with a story to cover his a$$.
And she did text him, so he knew she was still ok and still not asking for a ride.
I'm not saying that he's 100% smelling like a rose, but that communication is VERY important. Tell him what you REALLY mean. and if he doesn't like it, fine, but at least you gave him the right message.

[lph]

You know, this is the kind of situation that depends so much on the person. If I'd said that I was fine and would walk home, plus texted that I'd stopped on the way, I wouldn't expect to be "missed" for hours. That's me, and my dh.

You and your dh have different "habits", and I'm assuming you're upset at him because he should know you better. But personally I'd probably have done the same thing.

[shootingstar]

I'm not saying that he's 100% smelling like a rose, but that communication is VERY important. Tell him what you REALLY mean. and if he doesn't like it, fine, but at least you gave him the right message.

Unless Tuckerville changed her mind that she needed help /ride after all mid-way through her walk home..

When I tell dearie to buzz off or I really need his help, he responds accordingly (whatever his response he chooses), the words I say to him. In fact, I have a style of talking to any loved one (meaning other family members), in short phrases and assume that the other person will understand/be able to complete my incomplete instructions. That's great for creative/poetic people, but not for my dearie who thinks abit differently than I.

Occasionally he gets annoyed me and asks me:" Tell me exactly what you are trying to say"..which means I must tell him what I am thinking/feeling and what I would like him to do.

He wouldn't cycle back to check on me, walking homeward. (remember we don't have a car. )

But he does cycle around in circles ahead of me, if I'm doing a bike ride with him and I'm way behind.

[indysteel]

Tuckerville, I'm sorry you and your DH had a fight. As for the IT band stuff, have you considered whether your crank is to blame? My Campy triple caused me to have IT band issues in my right leg. Its q-factor (a fancy name for its width), was too wide for me. I switched to a compact on my new bike and, voila, no IT band issues. Just a thought. It's a fit issue for a lot of women that I don't think gets much press.

Limewave, I am really sorry about what you're going through. It sounds like you and your husband have some signficant trust issues to work on. Have you considered couple's counseling?

[Tuckervill]

At that point, sounds like he was just coming up with a story to cover his a$$.
And she did text him, so he knew she was still ok and still not asking for a ride.
I'm not saying that he's 100% smelling like a rose, but that communication is VERY important. Tell him what you REALLY mean. and if he doesn't like it, fine, but at least you gave him the right message.

He didn't read the text until after he was out of the shower and I told him I had texted him. I still wouldn't have expected him to stop his ride to come and get me. But since he was finished anyway...

Karen

[Tuckervill]

++++ on the hugs to both Limewave & tuckervill.



I'm not sure why he didn't stop and change her innertube if they had supplies with them. It really only takes 5 minutes if that.

But common courtesy/concern would have had him at least call/text to see where she was and if she was all right when he didn't find her at home when he got back... especially when he knew she'd been trying for a couple days to get that tire on previously... the chances of her being able to do it on her own and leave to bike again a day or so after she spent a few days trying to get a tire on were kind of slim.

Exactly. I didn't ask him to change it by the road because daylight was burning, and he was already warmed up and had a goal. And the tire still gave him a hard time the first time and then later when we changed the tube again (although it will be easier next time since it's already mounted).

I did something NICE for him, by encouraging him to go on.

Karen

[Tuckervill]

just one thing:
you said:

"I hollered after him and told him to go on and I would walk home. 'are you sure?' 'ya, ya, go finish the ride'. "

now if this had been a conversation between my DH and I, he would have believed that I really wanted to walk home and would NOT have expected to pick me up in a car... the fact that you took your shoes off and got blisters is unfortunate, but it's not really his fault; you told him to go on..

Except, after he rode for an hour, and got home, and I STILL wasn't home, wouldn't you think he'd call to check? Check his phone to see if I called? And I happily walked home, not expecting a ride (or to get blisters) and NOT EXPECTING HIM TO BE THERE, thinking he was still on his training ride, or SURELY he would have called to check on the status and well-being of his only beloved in such an instance? He knew my knees were hurting, too.

After all, anything could happen. He calls me to check on much more mundane things.

Karen