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  1. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    1,627

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    I would have written more in my previous post but I was so tired I could barely focus. Once again, I am so sorry you have to go through this. I think Boulder would be great, we could get together for lunch or a ride or both I know it must be hard to be living there as "just friends". You may want to take this opportunity to move if you would like and focus on you and your dreams/goals in life. Let me know if you need any Boulder or surrounding area information and I will do my best to get it for you. Hang in there.

  2. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Boulder, CO
    Posts
    21

    just to let you know..

    hello,

    i'm still relatively new to this forum and i'm relatively new to Boulder, also, BUT (and I know this doesn't ease your heartache at all~so sorry about that), I moved here about a month ago for a few reasons, cycling being one of the big ones. If you decide to come 'check things out' give me a shout-out and we can go for a ride if you'd like. I could possibly even set you up with a temp. housing situation if you needed it. Bikes totally welcome, of course!
    Best,
    Kimberly

  3. #18
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    584
    Quote Originally Posted by tc1 View Post
    Aw, sometimes life just sucks. Stay on the couch and mope for a couple days.
    If you are housesitting for your dad, can't you stay at Dad's house until you find another place?

    +1

    Sorry to hear about this Emily. You are looking on the bright side though, explore somewhere new and let this guy go. His loss. Take care. Jenn

  4. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Between the Blue Ridge and the Chesapeake Bay
    Posts
    5,203
    Big hugs to you.

    He's being honest--he's not willing or able to hold onto a relationship now. There's nothing inherently wrong with that; it is what it is. Better to know that up front and move on than to pretend it's something different.

    Now you can decide what you want to do and where you want to be.

  5. #20
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    1,316
    {{{{Emily}}}}

    I think it's pretty amazing that you're already looking ahead. Give yourself some real time to grieve the relationship, but kudos for being strong enough to consider your future here.

    I was going to suggest staying at your dad's, too. Can you go pack up your stuff and put it in storage somewhere?

    I was thinking, too, since you're completely open to relocating, that you could put your resume out there with one of those national headhunter sites, like Monster.com, and see what kinds of response you get. I don't know what your field is, but that could bring you some opportunities that you're not even aware of at this point.

    I saw a great piece on Patagonia (the clothing company, not the region in South America) and it looked like a really fun place to work if you're super active and have clothing design/marketing/business/whatever-they-need skills. It's a woman-friendly company and they're a block from the beach, so they all get to go surfing on breaks and such.

    Have you ever made a Vision Board? You get a piece of poster board and put words and images of all the things you want in your life. It helps you get focused on what's important to you. You find all kinds of great things, but when it comes to committing it to the Board, you really consider if it's what you truly want for your life.

    I wish you lots of love and luck in finding a new place to alight.

    Roxy
    Getting in touch with my inner try-athlete.

  6. #21
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Rhode Island
    Posts
    1,365
    Emily,
    I'm sorry about your breakup! In some ways, it's better to know sooner than later, right?
    It's still a major bummer, though!
    I can do five more miles.

  7. #22
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Denver Metro
    Posts
    834
    Thanks everyone!
    Today is a much better day
    I did ride solo though, I was supposed to ride with a guy friend today, but I decided I just needed a little me time- went and and had a good 2.5 hours this morning.

    I just got asked to come back to the LBS that I worked at previously part time, and I loved working there. And yesterday I had someone ask me to nanny 1 or 2 days a week.
    So it looks like I am going to stay in south fl for a little and save up some money, and then move

    And to everyone from Boulder, I will definitaly be getting in touch when I decide to move in a few months!! I used to live there for 3 years, but I wasn't very active then(i did some trail running, but that was it). So when I move, I would love to have people to hit the road with and learn the area on the bike.

    Thank you so much everyone, your little words have been a huge help!

  8. #23
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    34
    I was in a relationship for years that sounds kinda like your relationship. When it ended, I thought that it was the end of the world. Sometimes we can't see the future because of the "funk" we are currently in. After that break-up I meet someone new and we have been married for 20 years! Better things are ahead for you!

  9. #24
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    2,208
    Things are looking up already. Hang in there, Emily.

  10. #25
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    7
    We all know how grief stricken this whole situation is and our hearts ache for you. This may set you back physically and don't be too disappointed in your race results-of course the opposite may happen-you might focus your anger into your race effort and you may go that extra yard and kick some ***! I can't wait to hear. Now may be a time to re-evaluate your direction, what direction you want to go, a time to grow. Good luck and we stand behind you.

  11. #26
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Bogota
    Posts
    294
    arg, sorry,
    take as much time as you need to recover, don't let people push you to get over it quicker, and don't get mad at yourself for feeling down and out!
    everyone has their own recovery and grief!

  12. #27
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Oslo, Norway
    Posts
    4,066
    Aw, Emily, this sucks. Big hug to you. It sounds like you'll be making a better life for yourself out of it, but it's bound to hurt at times.
    Winter riding is much less about badassery and much more about bundle-uppery. - malkin

    1995 Kona Cinder Cone commuterFrankenbike/Selle Italia SLR Lady Gel Flow
    2008 white Nakamura Summit Custom mtb/Terry Falcon X
    2000 Schwinn Fastback Comp road bike/Specialized Jett

  13. #28
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    North Texas
    Posts
    561
    I so know how you are feeling...sort of in the same place myself. As I was submerged in my mess today, my Lt. and friend called and asked if "I wanted to get dirty."....we went for a mountain bike ride in the 110 degree heat and hammered it. I almost killed myself, but I rode hard and felt better. I am glad to have work to go to tomorrow.
    Men! Sorry, Mr. Silver and others.

  14. #29
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Denver Metro
    Posts
    834
    Thanks girls
    Well, I raced today and it sucked. I dropped out about 15 minutes into it!
    I have never done that, we voluntarily combined the girls with the cat 3 men b/c we didn't have a lot of girls(7 maybe?). The speed was fine, but mentally I was just fried from this week.
    I went out to lunch with friends afterwards and analyzed things and am now set to get back into training and focus on me and move forward!

    I may be going to SF the first week of sept. to cat sit for my older sister, and then I am going to figure out life.


    I am excited to start this new chapter in life, even if I stay in South Florida, and am happy to know I can come here and share my feelings and have so many warm thoughts from everyone.
    It really helped me out and everyone helped me realize that yes, he is nuts, and yes I do deserve better.

    I love everyone here for being such strong individuals(thats right, we have mr.silver and a few others, so no.. not women!! but yes, individuals)

 

 

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