My thoughts:

Any bike that fits will keep your legs in shape for skiing, so that's an easy requirement.

Which is most suited for a commute depends entirely on your commute, parking, what you have to carry, weather, and you. The #1 bike I ALWAYS want to reach for first is my full carbon race bike, commute or not. BUT, I only need carry a laptop and lunch in a backpack, I can park it in my locked office, have 300+ days of sun, etc. When I have to carry more or park outside or it's boarderline nasty I ride either the mountain bike with a trailer or my entry level road bike (aluminum Giant). Lots of people, on the other hand, want or need a dedicated commuter (typically a flat bar type roadie with fenders, etc).

And then there is keeping up with BF. That of course depends on what kind of rider he is, etc. But my experience is you really DO need a well tuned bike with decent components (105 is fine) and true road gearing (10 speed rear and a ROAD triple or double (pick either, but no mountain bike gearing)). Keep in mind my experience is keeping pace in a 23MPH group for 50+ miles. A true "entry level" (8 speed Sora rear and lower gearing) doesn't cut it.

What makes for a fast roadie though makes for a poor "true" commuter though (no room for fenders, poor clearance for wider tires, aero/forward positioning, no way in heck you want to lock it somewhere, no rack mounts, etc). You'll have to choose your compromise based on your goals for commuting and riding for fitness.

As for the bikes themselves:
I have *heard* that carbon seat stays really don't offer too much in terms of added comfort. I cannot vouch for that personally as I went straight from full Al to full carbon. BUT, I'd pick the bike that is comfortable for you and in your price range and not obsess over presence or absence of carbon stays. That said, I rode the half and half Giant (with the carbon spine) and was pleasantly impressed with it's ride.

In the same vein, trying for full 105 is a good standard to hold to. But again, if you ride the bike and love it and it's in your price range now, don't write it off completely because the front derailleur is Tiagra. (Hint: used, and even new 105 FD's are NOT that expensive, if it bugs you fix it later )

An argument to actually dropping down to some of the middle of the road bikes in your range price wise, especially if $1300 is your absolute max, is you will need some $$ for things like: saddle (rarely does a stock saddle actually fit you and remain comfortable), pedals and shoes, handlebars (may be fine, but it is a "contact point" and subject to preference...I had to change mine and knew instantly.)

So, the short version is that I agree with the shops that you should be avoiding truly "entry level" bikes, since you do have the budget for something nicer. But, my definition of "entry level" is Sora components, not standard road bike gearing, etc. and typically in the neighborhood of $500-600, not $1000.

Good luck searching